What a Great Christmas!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Moment of Gratitude

Sometimes I just sit and think, I wonder...about stuff...Many times that leads to discouragement, other times I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

This is a moment of gratitude. When we got the news Aunt Betty had passed away, there was no question we would go and be with our family and honor her memory. We knew how hard it would be for my father-in-law to say goodbye. His sister had been the glue that held the rest of the family together. She kept up with addresses and phone numbers, as well as the latest news. She leaves such a huge void. She was his only sister.

The trip down was a special blessing because we traveled with my father-in-law. We don't usually get that kind of time, so the time was absolutely precious. We stayed in the same hotel right next door, so that too gave us time with him. Once there we ran around to visit family and check in on everyone. What would be a trip to Florida without seeing Uncle Jack? (By the way his name is NOT Jack-I had been telling my husband that for years, but he didn't believe me.)

We saw him the night before the funeral and then spent the afternoon with him after the funeral. He told us stories, instructed us on how to solve a rubic's cube (yes, and he is 82), and proudly demonstrated how the player piano (the one he restored) works. (I videotaped that!) That was an amazing moment. How many 82 year old men rebuild pianos???

The whole trip was about family. Because it was, we spent alot of time pondering what it means to be part of something so big. I thought back to when my stepfather died two years ago. My mother married him because she had three kids to take care of and he was willing. He turned out to be an abusive perverted man. He subjected us to every imaginable type of abuse-not one of us got out unscathed. When he came to the end of his life, it wasn't about that anymore, all I cared about was his salvation...it didn't matter what he had done, what mattered was if he knew Jesus Christ died for him and he could have an eternity in heaven. I knew he was lost, and I knew I wasn't going to get another chance. I knew I had to forgive him and love him with the kind of love God loves me. I cried out to God the entire trip down. God in His mercy let me be the one to lead my stepfather to Christ. He died three days later. All of these thoughts led me to my brother.

My brother was rather upset with my mother some years ago. He pulled away from her, not giving her his address or phone number. His kids thought their grandmother was dead. It had been something like 5 years or so since my mom had even spoken to him, and then my stepfather lay on his deathbed. We contacted my brother, and he came. He came. He had enough character to lay everything aside and be there for my mom and for us. He stood right beside his siblings in the one moment we needed him to be there.

My stepsister had not really known her dad, and hadn't met any of us. Her mother took her from him when she was just a child. She didn't have any contact with him until she was a senior in high school. She is grown now, married, and has two kids. She came too. She got to see her dad the last days of his life, meet the rest of the family, and share in our moment of grief. She missed out having a dad her entire life, but in the end, she came. There is something about that. She came. He came. I applaud their character.

I saw my stepsister when we were back home. I always make it a point to try to connect with her when I am down. I have only known her for two years, but she is family, she is my sister, and I know her because she came. Our trip was hurried, but we were so blessed to spend a moment with all those that came. I am so full of gratitude this Thanksgiving season. There is no reason to dwell on what I don't have when what I do have is so great!

Precious Memories

I was amazed from the first time I met my husband's family. He grew up knowing his cousins, his aunts, all the extended family. He still tells stories of his childhood adventures. I remember when I first met any of his family. I was seventeen, a scraggly kid standing in front of Mommaw with soaking wet jeans because I had stayed out all night with my husband (not yet) at the beach. She didn't ask any questions, just gave me something to put on and washed my jeans. They loved me from the beginning.

His family was all about family. Not that his family was any more/less perfect than mine, because they have their fair share of misfits, skeletons in the closet and the such, but then....what family doesn't? We consist of people, people come with quirks...but a family is where you learn to love unconditionally, not for gain, not because people are who you think they should be, or say and do what is right to you, but just because that is where God planted you. This family I was born into and the one I married into is exactly where God wanted me to be. When I married my husband, I got his entire family; when he married me, he got mine. (hmm....who got the better deal????)

This week our family suffered a great loss. My father-in-law's sister passed away into eternity. We have shared our lives with her-she has impacted our life. We have witnessed her growth, and she took part in ours. I think back over all these precious moments we have shared as a family, and know that we are who we are because of every one of those moments. My children are the people they are because of the family they are part of. They can't take credit for molding themselves anymore than I can take credit for building my own life. I didn't do that-God did that, and He did that through our family.

Said I wasn't going to post to this site anymore, but I have had so many comments, so many people encouraging me that I just couldn't help myself. There is so much to share...so much to say...so many opportunities to love...just can't pass one up.

Yesterday was another one of those opportunities. We drove over to East Texas to visit with my in laws who we affectionately call "Ma" and "Pa." When that side of the family gets together, there is always music. Ma can pick and sing like nobody's business-Kat has her love for music. This time they encouraged Kat to join in, and we all did. It was precious remembering, singing, and yes, praising...Our family is hurting right now, but that pain has a lesser sting because we know where our loved one is today, and we can call up all those precious memories!

Progress not Perfection

Everything can't be perfect, especially when we are discussing an old house. It comes the way it is, and apart from tearing it down and starting from scratch, it is what it is. We are working with those imperfections...lost of wood putty, lots of caulk...and too much mud to even mention!

We may never have perfect, but the progress we are making on this house is encouraging...Isn't living about progress? We will never be perfect...I am not perfect...and neither is my old house!

Big Gainer?

Here it is...the long awaited...STRATEGIES FOR GAINING WEIGHT! When I first saw this, I absolutely cracked up....don't know too many people who need to gain weight. I read through the techniques and amazingly enough, the reverse is true for those of us who want to lose instead of gain!

To Gain: Eat frequently, eat larger, add lots of extras, eat higher calories, drink high calorie beverages instead of water and coffee, maintain exercise (well except for that one which is apparently needed for both losing and gaining....)

Nearing Half Way

My birthday is right around the corner, and as that day closes in, I am reminded of how much of my life has already been lived...wonder how much more there is to go? My husband and I talk alot about what is going on in the world around us, in our immediate family, situations which arise and need "analyzing," and just where we have been and where we are going. He has always been my greatest fan, but also my balance.

I spend what leisure time I have reading...I am always on the lookout for books that have the potential to change my thinking-bring life into perspective. After all there is always someone who has experienced what I have, and there really is nothing new under the sun. I just finished reading about grace and have picked up one by the Pearl family called Jumping Ship. The book is about kids raised in Christian homes who jump ship ie...leave their families and faith. Interestingly enough, I read a statistic just recently that stated 70% of Christian kids abandon their faith after attending secular colleges. We have witnessed the truth of that statement way too many times now. That is why my daughter, who does attend a secular college, is remaining at home with her friends and family around her to hold her accountable to truth.

The book-which I am already half way done with-brings many things to light, one of which really hits home with me. In our attempt to protect our kids from the ugliness of the world we live in, we did not adequately provide them with the tools to deal with that world. I didn't share with them what all had happened to me, because I wanted to protect their innocence, and I was afraid of what they would think of me. That lack of preparation leads to curiosity and vulnerability to what is being said outside our faith community. I am guilty of not sharing truth with them. I was so afraid for my kids...I so wanted them to have freedom to grow up and explore life without the peer pressure...I so wanted my kids to be innocent and just kids...and they were...till they became adult age, and then I couldn't protect them anymore.

I hate the idea of being a statistic....from my earliest days I can remember turning my rebellion against the "norm" to fight NOT to be a statistic. I thought maybe that fight was inherent, but now I wonder if God didn't give me what I needed to survive my life. I wouldn't have survived without that inner fight...I would have succumbed to the craziness that enveloped my life and thinking. I don't even know how I got from there to here, except by God's grace. I fought for my marriage, I fought for my education, I fight against the inevitable crippling affects of arthritis, I fight daily to live a life of faith...and so far I have beat the odds. I am not a statistic. I am still married after 25 years. I was the first in my family history to get a bachelor's degree, and so far I am not crippled, but living a life of faith-much harder. Resolve won't get me there, only grace, only God's provision. And...looking back-none of it was about my ability, my strength, my resolve, it was ALL about God's grace or I too would be a statistic.

My life is about half over. I can't undo anything in the first half. I can't raise my kids differently. If I could, I would do some things much differently, others, I would do just the same. We did many things wrong-the downside of being imperfect and not having all the answers. We also did many things right. Hindsight really is 20/20. We can learn from where we have been and not go there anymore...so as I embark on the rest of my life-looking back just for a sec to remember-I am going to spend the years ahead of me looking forward, praying more, trusting more in Christ and less in me, growing in grace, searching for His will and living it!

I'm Loving It...

I was sitting in church yesterday morning, between my husband and daughter, listening to our pastor and thinking about how different life is now. Our pastor preached on the mission of our church which boiled down to edifying families and reaching the lost. He always references Scripture to Scripture, rarely quoting commentaries and the such. Our time with him has been incredibly challenging. I am loving my church, my church family, my pastor, and mostly my Christ! I felt like singing the McD's jingle....buh buh bump, bump, buh...I'm Loving it! It has certainly been quite awhile since I could say that!

We never hear a message that doesn't leave us in thought...considering...where we are and where we should be going. He [our pastor] made a comment that really stuck with me-We can't remain neutral. We are on one side or the other, Christianity is not a neutral activity, although it would seem that some think so. We are either following Christ or following the world-can't stand still and can't choose both!

Every part of my day yesterday was filled with God's amazing presence. I had some time with my brother and sister-in-law, time to study my Bible, time to listen and be taught, time to minister to others, and just time....time to live my life in Christ. Another moment, another day, another opportunity...and time is short! I have never been fully convinced of the truth that Jesus Christ is going to return again in my lifetime...thought we would live and die like generations before us. The whole idea that Christ is returning seemed more like a Sci-Fi movie! My soul is bubbling over....I am so excited...but, I am seeing the multitudes of lost around me that need to be reached and how... Lord, here I am, send me!

What's in a name?

I woke up this morning swimming in thoughts...usually that is the case on Sunday, because I am getting ready for Sunday School. I am not teaching this Sunday, but nonetheless...thoughts dancing around. I was thinking about "grace" which led down a bunch of other roads...one was peoples' names. I always find it interesting how and why people name their kids what they do.

My name is quite unusual which meant growing up no one could pronounce it, teachers stumbled over it, getting called over intercoms was confusing, and forget finding it printed on anything! I asked my parents about it and the only thing they agree on is that it is indian (as in American indian). My dad says it means morning star, mom says it means running water...I am going with morning star! LOL

Anyway...when it came time for me to name my own children, my own experiences definitely weighed that decision. I wanted names which could easily be pronounced and spelled, names which were definitely boy or girl (didn't want any one looking at a roll and not knowing), and which carried a specific meaning...out came the baby name book!

I have three children. The oldest has a name which means "God is judge," the middle one "illustrious one," and the youngest "pure." Do we grow into our names? It seems that people do for the most part, at least I hope so, in most cases! Then I wonder about parents who name their children things like: Hope, Faith, Charity, Prudence, Grace, Christian....significant Christian names with powerful meanings...Does a child with a name like "Grace" grow into the definition thereof: According to Strong's Concordance comes from a root word which means "to bend or stoop in kindness to an inferior, to favor, to bestow." In John 1:17 it means graciousness of manner or act especially the divine influence upon the heart and its reflection in the life." Hmmm....

Consider Charity- God's divine love, agape love, unconditional love...or Faith-comes from a word which means credence and in Matthew 9:22 means "moral conviction of the truthfulness of God, especially reliance upon Christ for salvation."

Will these children come to understand their names and live it? Will mine? Will mine grow into an understanding of theirs, God is the judge, a righteous judge, illustrious-lighting up the world with truth, and purity of heart and life? Well if mine means "morning star," I haven't grown into yet, because I am certainly not shining bright early in the morning!

Martha, Mary, Lazarus?

Me..I am the Martha, but I have always wanted to be someone or something else. At times I am glad to be the doing one, but other times, I really want to be the one center stage, or the one sitting at the feet of Jesus. The truth: Not always living content with who Christ created me to be, want more, more, more! Once again..Jesus addresses my heart need in such a still small voice...but He spoke to me...this time through another online devotion I get, but rarely read. After I hit the "encouraging word" from Klove, I opened "Upwords with Max Lucado." Today it was on Mary, Martha, and Lazarus.

"God gave Martha a bass drum of service. God gave Mary a flute for praise. And God gave Lazarus a trumpet. And he stood on center stage and played it.

God still gives trumpets. God still calls people from the pits. God still gives pinch-me-I'm-dreaming, too-good-to-be-true testimonies. But not everyone has a dramatic testimony. Who wants a band full of trumpets?

Some convert the lost. Some encourage the saved. And some keep the movement in step. All are needed." (From Cast of Characters© Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2008, Max Lucado Now Available)

http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/upwords/

I needed that....don't have to be a Mary or a Lazarus...I get to be who God wants me to be and I need to be content with that.

Lord, I Need Your Grace

I have been reading Lord, I Need Grace to Make It Today, by Kay Arthur. I am down to the last day. This book is one in a series of devotional style books by Kay Arthur. I plan to dive into a few more sometime in the near future.



Quoting her, "when you act on God's grace, when you trust God's purposes during trials, the reality of the grace of God spreads because others see the reality of Christ and His sufficiency in us" (Arthur, 196). *There is a purpose in trials; one of which is to magnify God's amazing grace! Throughout history Christians have endured incredible trials of faith making my trials seem so small and insignificant, but God knows who is watching and who needs to experience His grace!Lord, I so need your grace manifested in my life so that those, even those who are attempting to derail us, will only see you!

Take a peek at the book...it is a great book on the grace of God!

http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=64417&event=CF

"And in nothing terrified by your adversaries: which is to them an evident token of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that of God. For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake;" Philippians 1:28-29

Must Be Doing Something Right

Sometimes God just gives me a really noticeable "amen." With all the chaos and conflicts of this past year, including the ones we are engaged in right now and...Katherine's health issues, it is hard at times to trust that God is at work. I have really had lots of moments where Jesus could be saying to me, "Why are you kicking against the pricks?" I have wrestled in prayer, not sure anything was ever going to happen! The encouragement we have been getting, the Biblical counsel from our wise pastor and dear friends near and far has reminded us that we must be doing something right to be under such attack!

Icing on the cake today was a face to face encounter with what it looks like when someone is so angry because they can't get control...let me tell you...not pretty! We don't need control, not only of our life circumstances, but not of anyone else's either. We KNOW who holds the future!

I was sitting in church tonight listening to our pastor and rehearsing my year -a song came to mind (not Christian and absolutely unrelated except for one line)...must be doing something right...and suddenly a smile just had to escape! God knows where He wants us to be and I AM SO GLAD He does! I just had to go pray. I went to the altar-not so much to ask God for anything-but to praise Him and lay it at His feet...I was deep in my private sanctuary when I felt an arm around me. (I can't remember the last time I was praying at an altar and someone joined me!) What a blessing to be prayed over in such a way (thanx friend!).

I have such peace at this moment just because I know He is weeding and pruning...and with every cut, I get a little more confident in who He is! Woo Hoo...Yippee...I am on God's side...not kicking...not screaming...not pouting...God's got this!

Living a Life of Compromise

After last night's-searching for the right word-fiasco (not the right one, but strong enough), I open my email this morning and scan through it, landing on this devotion from Charles Stanley. How easy it is to compromise our values for the sake of peace, how many times we have found ourselves in that very place, and how we have wrestled with the idea of how to live our life according to the truth of God's Word AND peaceably with all men??? It becomes increasingly apparent that just isn't possible. Our values are going to be offensive to others, and although we do seek to let them live their lives with just a covering of prayer from us, they often force their values on us. Isn't that the way it is in our world? Christians are accused of trying to force our belief on everyone, but in reality it is the world forcing theirs on us while trying to silent us. The devotion encouraged and reminded me to to "walk in his [God's] ways" (Psalm 119:3b) and to "seek him with the whole heart." (Psalm 119:2b)

November 5, 2008
The Landmine of CompromisePsalm 119:1-8

Compromise injures a believer's spiritual life as surely as landmines wreak havoc upon the body. Our testimony is damaged or destroyed when we bend God's principles.

For example, suppose a young Christian woman meets an attractive man who doesn't share her beliefs. For years, she has known Paul's caution, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers" and recognizes the apostle's intention to protect Christians from worldly influences (2 Cor. 6:14). But she rationalizes that one date won't hurt her. Actually, she is probably right. However, a first date leads to a second and third and then to a relationship. He offers marriage, she accepts, and the bent principle becomes a broken rule.

To navigate a spiritual minefield, we must look a few steps ahead for possible danger. Even choices that seem trivial may have far-reaching consequences. But the Lord equips us with a "divine GPS" (God's Positioning System): the Holy Spirit sounds an alarm in our spirit if we veer into dangerous territory.
For us to hear these warnings, our heart must be tuned to the Holy Spirit's wavelength through Scripture study. Relying on our own understanding can lead to trouble. But those who trust the Lord and apply His principles will find straight paths through potentially explosive situations (Prov. 3:5-6).

The young woman in the above example knew Scripture and felt the Spirit's cautionary nudge, but she ignored it. For safe travel through this dangerous world, decide to obey His initial warning so you can steer clear of compromise.

In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley
http://www.intouch.org/site/apps/nlnet/content.aspx?c=dhKHIXPKIuE&b=2336199&content_id={0C8662C3-B7F0-48C6-8D09-9003D70CEDCB}&notoc=1

Reflection

I was doing my devotions yesterday and flipped to the back of my Bible. I have this really cool Cambridge that has lined paper in the back! :) I have had this Bible a few years now which means there are lots of sermons, prayers, and journal entries in the back. Sometimes it does me good to see where I have been, where my heart has been, what mattered to me at particular times of my life. My prayers have been pretty consistent-usually about my children. As I read through some of those, I was amazed at what God has done these past years in His provision for us, and wept over the unanswered prayer in my childrens' lives. Of course, I know, there is no unanswered prayer, but those have yet to be answered (that is what I meant!). Daniel is still estranged from the family, Kat is still struggling, Rob...he actually is an answered prayer. That I am very thankful for. I am thankful for a relationship with Gabrielle and the knowledge they are both growing in the right direction! It goes without saying that we are deeply thankful for Aaron and the opportunity to share in his life!

Last night as I was talking to a friend and sharing with her that my prayer for our children has always been obedient hearts and willing spirits. From the time they were just infants I began to pray that. Yesterday, I was talking (almost yelling at) to Katherine and telling her how I see this present conflict (not a new one, just an ongoing one) in our lives; towards the end of that I reminded her that love and obedience go together. God says if we love Him, we will keep His commandments. That truth extends so much deeper than the surface obedience...it is a reflection of my trust and faith in Him. Obedience in children to their parents is the same reflection and is just preparation for obedience to Christ. My children's lack of obedience from the heart hinders them from also listening and obeying God's call on their life.

I say all that to say...as I considered all of the above, I realized my prayer for them has been like praying for patience. Patience doesn't come cheap...it comes through trials. Obedience and a willing heart doesn't come cheap either. I have wanted it to just happen...I pray...God answers...poof...obedient hearts and willing spirits. Nope...it has more like an extreme game of tug-of-war...my kids pulling against our authority to pursue what they want, while we are tugging on one end just trying to hold on to them, no doubt Satan has an end, and he is tugging with all the wiles in his arsenal, and then of course God who is tugging (ever so quietly) in a whisper of the corner of their heart calling them to trust and obey.

My- if we...and they...could see the big picture. If we could quit holding on to the fake pearls when God has the genuine. How my heart aches for what I could have had all these years in Christ had I of just obeyed and trusted Him...and how my heart aches for my children...I so want them to experience all the glory and goodness Christ has in store for them....if they will just surrender their heart to obedience to Him.

Pondering????

We cannot solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. ~ Albert Einstein

Hmmm???

Might Be Fall...

Driving down the road today, I spotted a rare beauty fall brings (at least in other places around the world)....leaves dancing with color! I love it! We don't get too much in the way of seasons here, summer, more summer, just a bit more summer, and something which resembles a cold front once in awhile! Right now, one of those cold fronts are coming through-dropping our temperatures to freezing at night, and barely topping 60 during the day...chilly for us Louisianans. The sudden weather change has turned some of our normally green trees all kinds of colors...and it is just gorgeous!

Dancing

I have been trying to pinpoint the moment in time when I learned to dance around the truth, that place where I lost confidence in my ability to speak the truth. There was a time when I had no problem speaking....giving my thoughts or opinions...even when I was wrong...but now, I can't seem to get it out even when I am right!

My husband and I have had this conversation a few times now, and he goes back to an incident with our sister-in-law a few years back. I thought we had freedom to speak and be who we are, and that was turned around and manipulated. Everything we said was turned into a lie to be used against us. There was absolutely no truth in any part of that situation: the result-a lost relationship with a brother, no opportunity for us to watch our neices to grow up, and broken relationships with other family members. Nothing but brokeness is left in this wake of manipulation and deception. Even worse, our son bought into it and this idea that somehow parents no longer have a right to say anything to their children when their children aren't walking in truth. We are supposed to sit by and watch them dive off into an abyss of darkness and destruction, all under some idea that they are "adults now." We no longer have any freedom to disagree with our childrens' choices and vocalize that, because they are "adults." All these years invested in them training them to live in Christ-gone-poof...just like that. All the years they came to us with questions, with conflicts...not a thing has changed on our end...actually we are more Spiritually sound than we were...have more answers than we did...and more tools to resolve conflicts.

Where on earth did someone get the crazy idea that being a "majic age" makes you an adult-suddenly able to do whatever your mind can conceive! How can a perfectly compliant child who has submitted to authority, studies and memorized the Scriptures, knows the truth of God's Word, suddenly think that just because they are an "adult" nothing applies??? How can God's Word be truth and authority one day, and not another? Where in our culture did it happen that drinking is wrong....unless you are legal? Where did it become ok to have sexual relationships as long as you are a consenting "adult"? I stand back, ponder all of that, and am absolutely blown away...and then I look at the situations in our nation, our communities, our families,

...and it is no wonder-no one wants to take a stand for what is true...we all want to dance around it. Sure you can make your own decisions. Sure you can live a life of sin. Hey...so can I, but why would I want to when my Heavenly Father knows so much more than I do! It makes me think of the Israelites when they were under the judges...over and over they "did that which was right in their eyes." What a difference it is to do that which is right in our eyes as opposed to that which is right in God's eyes. There is only one truth, there is only one way, there is only one life I want to live...in Jesus. How do I get that truth to stick in not only my life, but in the lives I touch? How do I speak the truth without fear? How can I love people and not condone the choices they are making? How can God possibly use me when I keep wanting to dance?

So unmotivated!

When life is soooo busy all the time, it sure is hard to stay motivated and moving at high speed! I am ready to crawl into bed and stay there, but....so much that needs to be done! The hardest thing about this train I am on is there isn't one day that is completely down...that I am at home ALL day..the kind of days you can stay in your pj's, curl up under a blanket, maybe read a little, that kind of thing...

Well who am I to complain? It is after 10 am and I AM still in my pjs! No blanket or book at the moment, but 2 out of 3 isn't bad! I am a Florida girl so I like it warm...this winter weather that has blown definitely robs me of any motivation to get out there and do anything....cuz....I am cold! Maybe it will warm up enough that I can go over my door trim today!

As I write this, I am listening to Klove and they are talking about us being so busy being busy! LOL...

Smile From God

Got this in my email today...had to smile!

Covered in Paint

It seems like I am perpetually covered in paint/drywall dust/primer/texture...or any combination of the above! Progress

has been moving forward, sometimes at a hectic rate, other times not so much! The tiling turned out to be a lot more tedious than projected, and with our schedule, getting it done has been a challenge! While that is in progress, we are hanging sheetrock, pri

mering, painting, and texturing...all over the place. This week we have sheetrocked the breakfast room, primered it, and put the texture on it (today). It has another coat of primer to go and then paint. It will be relatively back in order this weekend. Tiling-not quite done, we are planning on finishing that up tonight..also working on the front door and porch. It has been all primered and the first bit of trim work painted. Realllllllllly hope to have it painted by this weekend too!

As hard as these last months have been, and still are, I won't look back on it as a negative! We have gained so much more than we lost!

By the way...painting a ceiling with a spackling knife is quite messy-no matter how thick the paint is or how hard I tried to be neat I got it everywhere...and I do mean everywhere! (Just in case someone else gets the idea to do that!)

The "how do you eat an elephant?" has become a way of life around here. It is hard to imagine how different we approach things...our attitudes are different, our priorities are different, the very way we live is different...all because of a little rain!

Stop and Smell the Roses

Every once in awhile, not often enough for sure, we stop just because. The American Rose Center in Greenwood, LA hosted a fall moonlight stroll through the gardens this past Friday night. We hadn't been out there in years, so decided to take the night off, go to dinner and out to the garden. It was very quiet and serene. Amazingly enough...there were still roses on some of the bushes! We did stop and smell them!


We took a few pix, walked hand in hand, had a complimentary glass of soda (wine was offered, but.....), listened to the mini orchestra playing under one of the gazebos, and talked about just stuff! Empty nest...not quite...but...don't think we are going to have a big problem with the syndrome...maybe...have had some time to kind of ease into it! Sure do like being able to stop and smell the roses!

Staying Connected

Keeping in touch with people and sharing their lives takes time and effort...sometimes I need a reminder of that. I am also learning that relationships are give and take. You can't build a relationship with someone who doesn't contribute anything to it. I can minister, I can share once in awhile, make a phone call, send a note, but relationships can't be forced. When I do try to force them, I end up on the end of a very short stick-giving and being used to meet someone else's need while my needs go totally unnoticed. I am often disappointed when I realize how powerless I am to do anything about anyone else, especially when I had hoped to build a relationship, sustain a relationship, or mend one.

God has opened doors in such expected ways lately! Many people I have given to-those one sided relationships-have dropped out of sight. I am tempted to keep trying...but they aren't really interested so I am filing them away in the ministry folder...pray when God brings them to mind, call if He lays them on my heart, maybe send a note. Others have appeared through doors that I could never have opened myself! I am loving sharing my life with Shelly and Natalie. Shelly just walked into my life and began to share in this remodel with me. The time I have spent with her is priceless! I love her! Natalie was just someone I knew in church, then she came over...those moments spent with her have opened up a myriad of other doors-Facebook for example. Natalie wanted me to get a Facebook account...hmmmm I thought. (Not a big fan of all of that stuff) She sent a request and next thing I knew, my box was flooded with friend requests. As a result I have renewed connections with people I haven't seen or heard from in awhile, and have begun a new friendship with Natalie. :)

There are so many things important in life and so many that aren't.

Sweet Assurance

Sometimes the efforts of my life, trying to live my life in Christ in the midst of life situations and endless criticism, seems futile. There have been more moments than I would like to admit that failure seemed imminent, and I just wanted to throw my hands up and quit. One such "falling" down moment resulted in me going through my house and throwing away every Scripture posted above every door, putting away every Christian magnet on the frig, and refusing to go to church. That faith struggle was a rough one, but God challenged me with a simple phrase from my pastor, "A faith not tried is a faith that can't be trusted." It seems like every moment of my life the past four or five years has been a trying of my faith to see if it could indeed be tested. These moments have changed my perspective on what faith is.

Yesterday, Kat came walking in the house, put down a few groceries, and walked back out all the while talking on the phone. I walked through and heard her encouraging her friend in Christ, and then...praying over the phone with her friend. That touched my heart in such a remarkable way-she has heard me do that a thousand times. Her and I have prayed together over the phone. I don't know hardly anyone that stops and does that, yet it is so powerful...to just stop...pray with someone, over someone..not to say, "I will pray for you." Not saying...doing then, right at the time that person needs it!

She was talking to me a bit later about the situation-one she could relate to and understood-God was using her and her life struggles to encourage someone else to turn to Christ in their need! Awesome hardly describes the amazement I felt hearing her speak. God, at that moment, gave me sweet assurance that He is indeed working through me and teaching my daughter to live her life in the power of His Word!

Living in Grace

Thought:

"...if you do not appropriate in faith God's all-sufficient grace in the trials of life, it will affect your service for God. Without appropriating His grace, your trials can overwhelm you or consume your thoughts, thereby distracting you from God's calling upon your life...it's one thing to have access to the grace of God but another to appropriate it..." (p 177)

-Arthur, Kay. Lord, I Need Grace to Make It Today. Waterbrook Press. 2000

"Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear:" Hebrews 12:28

Encouragement

God is so gracious to always provide in ways beyond my comprehension. I have a sweet friend that pops into my life periodically-always to bless me! I love her muches and muches! I don't always get to spend the time with her I would like as life gets in the way; however, I never leave her presence without being challenged to live my life in such a way that honors the Lord!


Tina... Knowing Jesus is such a wonderful reason to become dear friends with you... I am glad God gave me you when HE did.. our boys growing up together.. coming to know Christ.. the attitude adjustments.. even within our own hearts as we try and discern what God was doing with them.. and then see how God works it all out. Of course I cannot leave out ms. Priss...otherwise known as KAT.. lol.. she was almost 1 when I met her.. that girl.. she practiced then for singing. but it wasn't as lovely then to the ears. as it is now..... screaming .. to endure it .. then to rejoice in what God has done for her through the years.. and now. I cannot put prices on friendships.. but I know that a friend loveth at all times.. all the times I was down and needed a different friend..you'd send notes.. I cherish them still.. and your friendship.. I love to see God's progress in YOU!.. and I will not forget your sweet husband.. that in such a quiet way.. lets you know he respects you and loves you dearly! -Kayla


Thank you, Kayla, for being such a faithful friend to me. Not only do I count you as a true friend and sister, you are one of my heroes. I have had the privilege of watching your family grow in the Lord too! I too cherish every moment, every prayer, every phone call, every gift of your time to us. God always knew what I needed and when I needed it!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Fear and Faith

Last week I taught my Sunday School girls on "fear" from the life of David, this week we are discussing "faith" also from the life of David. I have always known that you learn by teaching because obviously you have to study to teach....as I am studying these two things and connecting them in my own heart (in order to connect them for the girls), God is convicting me of how guilty I am. I have lived so much of my life in fear and have failed so much of the time to live in faith.

Todd is such a good guy, and he has been really good for Katie, but I have had the hardest time giving my heart away this round. Jumping in has always been so easy for me. Being hurt, struggling with the situations of my own life, and then there is my family, my kids, and extended family members..giving and being taken advantage of....that being "used" feeling which always shuts me down... all of that has left "fear" in its wake.

Todd took Kat out for her birthday Friday night. (I took the first picture I have taken of them, because I was hesitating accepting them as a couple) I was good up until I had calculated about when the dinner and movie should be done, and she wasn't home yet. Fear crept in and panic started to bubble up to the service. Instincts said "text" and find out where she is, but reason said "be patient." I prayed instead for their safety, and she of course returned home safe and sound. Some areas of my life are incredibly difficult for me to let go and let God-my kids are way at the top of that list. They are all grown now, but it isn't any easier not to "fear," for them, even though I know God's got this. "Faith" believing in the promises of God's Word that I have yet to see. What kind of faith is it when I have to see to believe? It isn't of course. Praying.....and trying to trust...

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Mission Accomplished

The coulottes were certainly a success...in that we finished them on time, and most of them fit. Of all that we sewed, only three pairs need to be redone! That was such a blessing and a testimony that God was in that. No way could we have done that on our own!

It was a week of Spiritual battes though. I struggled with where Kat is in her life, and once again I was faced with the reality that people seek their own, not the welfare of others. It seems as if everywhere I turn, I have to deal with that reality...has it always been that way, or is it a testimony of the sin sick world we live in!? I keep trying to keep my feet under me, because I know with every Spiritual victory, a mountain, there is also a valley. I hit the valley way sooner than I was prepared for. I was on such a high from the week before, all the opportunities God had opened for us to share and give to someone else, not the giving so much, but the amazing truth that you can't outgive God that was also being showered on us. Then I hit the point where I needed someone to commit to me just because they cared, and I was once again disappointed. Doing something out of love and doing something out of obligation are not the same thing. That truth goes beyond physical life, and challenges my heart to serve my Lord and others not because I have to or am obligated, but because Jesus love me, and I love Him. It sure seems like it would get easier to remember that, but being a "Martha" hinders me when I so want to be a "Mary."

I am so thankful for my husband. He is indeed a covering for me. He holds me when I cry, listens to me when I am unreasonable, brings balance into my life, and lightens my burdens. How God must have known when He gave him to me, and how I need to listen to him so much more than I do.

Sewing Fever

It is funny how just walking into a fabric store gets the juices flowing! I haven't sewn anything since January, but I have sure been thinking about it. I start musing over craft patterns, curtain ideas, all the variety of fabrics...and then...reality kicks in again...don't really have time for that right now! It is hard enough maintaining the house and getting done what needs to be done without adding another thing!

We started sewing coulottes this week, Tuesday to be exact. Before I cut a single piece of fabric, I had devotions and prayed...then I took a deep breath. I knew I was in for a very long week...sewing 17+ coulottes, having to work, keep up the house, and etc...was not going to be an easy task. The week started with a battle in my own heart-sometimes God has to remind me that just because He burdens my heart about something, doesn't mean everyone has the same concern or burden. I get so frustrated with that! Another Spiritual battle-lack of commitment in people. I was praying about that and as always God opens my eyes to my own life and reveals where I am weak. It sure is easy to look faithful and look committed, but the heart??? A whole other issue...my heart isn't always pure, and I am not always faithful in my heart where it matters the most since God doesn't see like man sees. God has so been working in my heart through a study I am doing on grace, people He is bringing into my life, and just these circumstances of my life.

Sewing....back to the subject. Dived in on Tuesday, and amazingly enough had five pair half way put together in 3 hours. Worked Tuesday night and Wed. morning. Wed. morning, finished one pair completely, cut and sewed part way 3 more. I took that set up to SCA to try them on. With one exception-they were a nearly perfect fit! That has never happened! That is God's hand in answer to prayer and these girls' needs! Still praying...still have lots more to go....and I am feeling the stress in my shoulders and hands. I not only need God to guide my hand, but I need Him to hold back the arthritis in my aging hands long enough for me to complete this task! It is certainly going to be a testimony of His power and His grace...and I LOVE it when He does that!

Mission Conference

We just wrapped up or church's primary mission conference under our new pastor. It was quite different from previous years (which was to be expected), but it was just awesome. God really challenged my heart through the music, interaction, and messages. I wanted to go to every place presented! Our pastor spoke last night. His challenge to us was to love our Lord in such a way that we were faithful in our own personal mission field. We have neighbors who need to be reached. I need prayer on how to reach them.

Today, the Monday after, I am absolutely exhausted! I am not sure if it is more physical, emotional, or Spiritual. There was so much going on in one week...who knows! I needed to hit the ground running today, but it sure didn't happen. I am too tired to move that fast!

Saturday, I took my Praxis: Math Content. I prayed myself to sleep Friday night, got up Sat. morning, ate protein, did devotions, and reviewed for a minute. I was so nervous. I got there and had to wait for about 45 minutes. It was incredibly challenging; there was virtually nothing on it that I have ever taught or likely to. The questions were more theoretical, thought provoking, than just punch in a calculator do the Algebra kind of thing. By question #37, I was mentally whipped and wanted to quit-13 questions to do and 30 minutes left to do them in. After a short pep talk with myself and a prayer for help, "Lord, which of these problems can I do?" "Lord, which of these answers is correct?" I figured He knew, because I sure didn't! I kept plugging away and did my best to finish. Now I have to wait 4 weeks to see if I made the cutoff score. There was a disclaimer on the back which said not all questions may be counted-sure hoping those are the ones I had to guess "C."

Not much got done on the house last week, and I am feeling overwhelmed by that. We have only managed to get two quads of tiles down, bummer. I have some little things I can work on, but tile really needs to go in. We thought we could do it in pieces...mixed the thin set...bought a big bucket to store the left over in...set our first quad...and wanted to wait to see how it did. Next day, opened up the bucket to work on the next quad--thin set completely solid! Zug! New idea-buy the premixed stuff...it doesn't dry out like that, and Steve did get another quad set, but..it is taking forever to harden. It has been drying for two days and still not solid. Hmmm....need a new plan!

Katherine and I are sewing this week for SCA. We really wrestled with it, but how could we refuse. Girls need coulottes-not one of those things you can just run buy! Somehow-God's grace I am sure-her and I have to get about 20 pairs done in just over a week. It would already be challenging, but we have to start from scratch on the pattern. We weren't able to get the pattern we loaned out back. I searched for another similar one, and think I found one, but it has to be altered. That too would not be that big of deal; however, a friend altered the last one for me; I didn't pay attention, and she is no longer available! Kat and I both are working today, so in between-going to SCA to get initial measurements; After work I am going to get fabric, and then her and I are going to get started cutting. In between the sew moments, gonna try to get a few things done on the house. Really hoped to be in phase two by the first of December...still a long way from that! Alright...we will get it done...because God knows our hearts, and He knows the needs.
I'm off-not running-but moving!

Not a Youth Anymore

"We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."

The call in topic on the radio yesterday was growing old. Someone was having a "40" birthday. That one has already come and gone here...it really wasn't that big of a deal..really...in Bible days, 40 was the age that middle age began. You were considered a youth until the age of 40. 40-60 is the middle ages, and then 60 is a transition into older "wiser" adulthood. I liked being a youth until age 40, but really, having a childlike faith, a childlike innocence, a childlike outlook on life is something to aspire to at any age. Innocence is gone way too early in the days we live in. Our ability to see the beauty and wonder of life is stolen away long before we reach the end of our youth. Being able to laugh, to play, to see wonder and beauty in God's creation, to love through His eyes and in His power are certainly factors in maintaining a youthful heart (at least in my opinion). On the other side of the coin is the idea of growing old gracefully. One of the callers on the radio was discussing wrinkles, other affects of aging, and the privilege it is to grow old-Not everyone gets that opportunity. Many die before they experience the affects of aging. This caller's brother died in his 30's, in the days of his youth.

It has been a busy week this week-we are in our mission conference. Kat had an appointment in Arkansas, and I have to take my Praxis tomorrow morning. In the middle of all that, God has burdened my heart for several people. I don't always listen when God speaks, but this time, my heart was so heavy, not to respond would have been way too much to carry. I made some calls, made some visits, prayed, and set aside my life for others. Doing that has given me such a boost. I have felt so alive this week! My devotions were on the power and action of grace. Real grace, an understanding of what God has done and given to us is lived out in service to others. I don't serve naturally; it is a work of grace; it is an answer to prayer. I have asked God to make me a see-through-servant so that all anyone sees is Jesus, but sometimes I get jealous when I don't get the recognition I think I deserve. Too much of the time, "I" get in the way, but this week, I have stepped back and let God have His way! It has been such a powerful week-to see God and experience Him working in peoples' lives. No words describe it except AWESOME!

Last night the physical demands did catch up to me. The arthritis kicked in and started acting up; I couldn't use my right arm. My wrist started swelling, my fingers were stuck, it ached all the way up to my elbow, and I had absolutely no strength in my hand. It still hurt this morning when I got up. I was quickly reminded that the body doesn't live forever-it has limitations-it is aging and wearing out. I am also reminded that life is good, but eternal life is better! Being active, sharing my life, playing a little with my friends and family does indeed make me feel more like a youth and less "middle aged." Who knows how much more time any of us have, but I do know God is busy all around me, and it is sure a privilege to join Him in the work He is doing!

I'm Gonna Miss This

Katherine and I went to Arkansas yesterday for her arthritis checkup. We go about every four or five months on this little road trip. Her and I have had the opportunity to take several road trips together. They are sweet times for us to get to know each other a little better and talk about stuff in our lives. I love those moments when it is just her and I. She channel surfs when she is driving which really annoys me, but also brings us to hysterical laughter quite often. Yesterday, we stumbled across songs which we turned up really loud and sang at the top of our lungs, songs which brought back funny, and sad, memories, songs which made us stop and ponder. Trace Adkins "You're Gonna Miss This" is one of those songs that really challenges me to reflect on how quickly life goes by. I miss the early days of our marriage, when our kids were tiny, demanding, fighting, running around all hours of the day and night, exploring, learning, and just experiencing the newness of life. They were in such a hurry to grow up, and at times I was in a hurry too, but...I miss those days. I look at Kat, who is so in a hurry to grow up, so in a hurry to find the right guy, get married, settle down with her own life, and I want to say with Adkins..Baby, just slow down, you are gonna miss this. These are some good times, and I know I am gonna miss this too!


She was starin out the window of their SUV
Complainin sayin I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money
And I'll make my own rules
Momma put the car in park out there
in front of the school
And she kissed her head, and said 'I was just like you'

You're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment And her daddy stops by
He tells her it's a nice place
She says, 'It'll do for now'
Starts talkin' about babies, and buyin a house
Daddy shakes his head And says baby just slow down

Cuz' you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this

Five years later there's a plumber
Workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin' one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'
But he says they don't bother me
I've got two babies of my own
One's thirty- six, one's twenty- three
Huh, it's hard to believe

But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' miss this
Yeaahhhh... you're gonna' miss this...

Jesus Whispers Sweet and Low

There's within my heart a melody...Jesus whispers sweet and low...Alex had to choose an enrichment class this year. He got three choices. His first choice was art, second computer, third piano. He registered for classes the week before school started (no fault of his own), but that means you usually don't get your first choice. We were of course thrilled he got piano-him-not so much. We encouraged him in that Katherine could help him and we had a full weighted keyboard he could practice on!

Katherine started taking piano on Sept. 11, 2001 (really). Alex has always loved Katherine which gives her an open door with him. Well...to make a long story short...we haven't had the keyboard in the house since the flood. Alex was getting impatient and attempted to set it up in the shed which resulted in him getting a tongue lashing from every imaginable angle. (He picked it up by himself, dug out the cables and amp, and was trying to hook it up when he got caught-it is very heavy and quite fragile) His very life hung in the balance when his favorite cousin found out what he had done! She did regroup however, as did Steve, and we brought the keyboard in the house.

Katherine dusted it off, hooked everything up, and started to play. Piano music hasn't filled the house in over five months....it was sweet to hear it again. She played a bit, and instructed Alex who got to show off what he had been learning in piano class. Turns out he is learning from the same books she stared with except for the junior hymn book (she had a private Christian instructor; he goes to public school). She went and dug the hymn book out and started teaching him a song from that book. She told him she wanted him to practice from that one too. How precious!

He sits by me in church which gives me a birds-eye-view of how he is responding to the sermons. Our pastor is awesome...and Alex is listening. Last night was the first night he wanted to look up verses and read them. He sure has moments, but the seed is being planted, and we are praying for it to also be watered and bring forth fruit! How powerful music is in communicating....how sweet it is that Jesus whispers to our heart!

Back in Prison

This round was actually my third trip, but...this time it was my turn to teach. One of the amazing things about being there is how open the ladies are, no pretense at all. They just talk, hug, smile, joke around, as if we have been friends our entire lives! The 22 year old is still there. I have learned her name now. She comes to Bible study. We met another one this time who was only 18. She was absolutely hysterical the entire time....to be 18...and in prison...very scared!

I wrestled over what to teach. What did these ladies need to hear....what was God already doing in their lives...would I stumble...would I say something totally irrelevant to them...not to mention...I usually teach 4th grade girls. I thought...we should all be kids once in awhile-with the innocence that comes from that so I included a crossword type puzzle on the back of my lesson outline. They absolutely loved it. I also asked Ms. Shirley about using my left over verse cards and activity sheets from Sunday School. I brought the verse cards which went very fast! So good to know those are going to good use! Next time I am going to bring the activity papers and see how they respond to those.

I began working on a lesson about David for Sunday School....and as it turns out...that was the Sunday I was out with Katherine. The lesson itself got my attention so I kept working on it. It was the one God used on this prison visit. It was such an amazing thing that words just can't capture it! I was soooo nervous...but had my outline typed with the verses I would be using (Ms. Shirley says she types up the lesson so the ladies had them for later to look over, study, share, and the Bibles we give out are tiny tiny print-very hard to read and follow in a Bible study).

The study consisted of David being chosen as the second king of Israel, Saul being rejected, and the question why reject Saul over David? What made David a man after God's own heart? We answered that question with a definition of rebellion/disobedience, a look at David's repentance and Saul's excuses, and a peek at David's heart through his own words in the psalms. The challenge to us all was could God call "me" a woman after God's own heart? Could David's words be mine? I was challenged by it, and so were our ladies. Several cried and gave testimony. Ms. Shirley stepped right up and asked about their salvation. Many profess to be saved, but one came this time who hadn't come before. Ms. Shirley had been inviting her for months. She told us this was the first time she had come to a service that she wanted to. She was very open, knows she isn't saved, but wasn't ready to respond to that. Door is open-seed is planted-and amazingly, many of the ladies have been witnessing to her! Both pods (we do the lesson twice-also a first for me) ended in tears, testimony, and open forum. It was just awesome! I don't know what God has planned for any of them, but I am so thankful to be a small part of it! Will teach again in a few weeks, don't know what I am doing, but already Abraham is on my mind and the covenant in Genesis 15! How in need we are of grace!

Go To The Ant

"Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise." Proverbs 6:6

I have considered that verse alot these past few months as ants continue to invade! There is no real way to stop them right now, because there are too many ways for them to get in the house. I wipe them off the counters, sweep them off the floors, and fish them out of whatever...a can canister occasionally, pots and pans, cups...it reminded me of a time at SCA when there was a roach issue right around the coffee pot. Sometimes they would get into the filter or the pot. We would pour a cup of coffee and my goodness, a bug would be swimming along! One such time, Bro. Mike (previous pastor of Baptist Tabernacle) and I were standing there making cups of coffee. Both of us got floaties. He fished his out and kept on drinking! LOL-I on the other hand dumped mine and started over. He told me that after being on the mission field, he could eat just about anything, things like floaties didn't bother him at all! I have a new appreciation for that...I am not on a foreign mission field, but I am in a construction zone being invaded by all kinds of critters. Bro. Mike, I have fished a few ants out of my coffee (they got on the spoon or in the cup without me catching them)-I didn't dump it, just kept on drinking it! I have fished them out of something on the stove, shrugged, and ate it anyway. That is probably grossing some of you out, seeing Bro. Mike do that sure did me, but it is amazing what you can learn to live with when you have to...and those ants...did you know they are blind (or so I am told)?

Out With the Old: In With the New

I dont' know that I really appreciated how different a room looks with new windows! Our room didn't even have windows, now there are three of them! It is amazing what a difference the windows make in there! I usually go for the old over the new, but not in this case! We are putting new windows in in phases (17 windows in the house with a price tag of >7,000), so this round did our bedroom and the office (6 total). From the outside, it is quite obvious where the new ones are, and now I am impatient, want to get done with this phase so we can go on to the next one!

Our schedule is turned upside down a bit because we are juggling vehicles. That coming and going slows us down. Hard to get motivated when you have to keep going somewhere! Today I am off (yippee), so only have to take Kat to class, run a few errands and I am home for the day, at least until our daily Lowes trip. I am definitely going to take advantage of being home and get my room sanded. ( I stall on the sanding because it is so messy!) Shawna is coming on Thursday and I sooooooooo want to be ready to paint in there! (all that and working on the office so Kat can move in that room!) Whew....need B12 shots!

Improvising

Nothing like a natural disaster to bring out the creativity hidden inside of us...Katherine is no exception! She has spent the last several months without a bedroom. She sleeps on an air mattress in the living room (not much privacy and certainly not quiet!). She decided a week or so ago that she wanted to make her "bed" up with her new bedding...creature comforts. Last week, she got a little more creative. We had already hooked up a tv and dvd player in there and set it on an end table. She went a step further; she found her satellite receiver and hooked it up. She ran the cables under the wall (no baseboards yet) between the living room and her room and hooked it up to the tv. She didn't feel good this Saturday so she spent most of the day cuddled up in her "bed" in her "bedroom" watching tv! We are working on what we call the office (a guest room) attempting to get it done. We are down to doors, floors and trim in there. (New windows going in today-guys are here removing the old ones). Prayerfully this week it will be done (although we are tiling and haven't done that before), and she can move in there. Ya think she will miss her old room????

Drama

Is everyone's life filled with drama or is it just mine? I was talking to my brother last week and he laughed. He said it is always something over there...and it is. He was referring to Katherine wrecking her car, all that goes with that, and then...she blew a plug in the living room, leaving us in a brown out. So Friday, I kept Caitlyn who would not sleep all day. If Doreen hadn't of been here to relieve me, I would have gotten absolutely nothing done except hold her. I did manage to squeeze in a load of laundry, sweep a floor, study a bit, and make lunch. It took me all day to get dressed and brush my teeth! Wow...forgot how much time it takes to take care of an infant! After Tonia picked Caitlyn up, I went right to work on my Praxis. I studied that till dinner, went to dinner at Saltgrass (Texas steakhouse right here in Louisiana), and walked around the boardwalk for a bit, mostly so Steve and Todd could have man to man time (that was at Katherine's request). Katherine and Todd are now official...she is of course beaming ( I really hope this is a case of third times a charm and not three strikes your are out!) After the walk and talk, we came home, and I again went to work on my Praxis. I was getting pretty excited, thought maybe, just maybe I could pass it...then...it was cancelled due to the hurricane. Wow...bitter sweet...all those hours put in to prepare for it...I do have more time to learn all those formulas and how to operate this fancy smancy calculator which will do everything but the dishes! Hurricane winds and rain swept through leaving a wake of pecan branches and debris all over the place, but we did not flood and did not lose power (except for our little brown out adventure!) Yea...and all that drama only covers one week in the life of the Ward family!

New Math

1 van plus 1 car plus 1 truck = 3 vehicles, but 3 vehicles- 1 van - 1 car =4: 2 trucks, 1 jeep, and 1 Saturn - 1 truck and 1 Saturn= 2 again. Hmmm?? Confused? Us too...Kat wrecked her Saturn which has now been totalled. We are waiting to hear what the insurance company is going to settle on so we will know what we owe. So we are back at two vehicles, three people, three jobs, and college. Well God always knows...Kat got a new job at Aafes. The job just opened up. She will be working from 2-9ish every day except her class night at the BX which is just a hop, skip, and jump from the education building. She gets out of class at 12ish every day which gives her time to walk over there, get something to eat and maybe do some homework (maybe?). It makes for a long day for her, but steady hours, no real transportation issues (she goes to class and gets off work at compatible times for me to take her and pick her up), and steady pay. Her hours at Kohl's has been so up and down, and she is not making enough to pay her way. Aafes has long term potential for her so who knows...God does!

Speaking of new math-I have been studying for my Praxis II tomorrow. I have been cramming so much information into my little brain that it is having trouble processing the smallest of requests! I couldn't do simple division last night at Sylvan! Decided a night off was in order so I could be fresher today in my review and practice tests. I am in no way ready for this test, but have to plunge in. Maybe with a little grace, the questions I know will be the ones on my test as opposed to the multitude of questions I have no clue on! I am so anxious about it that last night I had one of those high school dreams-the one where you show up late, can't find your class, your seat, your locker, don't have your supplies, pencils, paper, everyone is waiting on you, etc...(I wasn't naked-not the dream where you show up in your underwear). I woke up with a start this morning and then had to smile. That anxiousness over school never seems to go away, no matter how old we get! Tomorrow is the day...have a very full day today-plumber will be here any minute, Kat will be in and out with school and aafes paperwork, and...I needed her help today babysitting Caitlyn. I have no idea how I am going to study and take care of a baby (little out of practice on that one!), but I will sneak it in somehow! Tonight we are taking Todd and Kat out for a steak dinner-repayment to Todd for taking care of the house while we were in NC. I am sure dinner for me will be laced with visions of numbers/letters/symbols dancing in my head!

My book is sitting next to me, baby is stirring-eyes open-better make a bottle, someone is calling....

Words of Wisdom

"but still try, for who knows what is possible..."- Michael Farraday

Yep...with man lots of things are impossible, but with God nothing is impossible!

All about the details

Our doors have been sticking since the flood, hard to close, hard to open, keys won't work in the locks...etc...as of this past Saturday, have a new front door. It was one of our first purchases (before we had any idea what we were doing)! Nothing is really standard in this house, so of course the door was not a perfect fit. It was about four inches shorter than our original door.

Watching my husband process and work things out is an amazing thing! He sat down, thought and decided to build a header for the door. He got that done and then there was the leveling/squaring it. Of course the house isn't square anymore so anytime we need something level, a bit of a challenge presents itself. He did get it, got the door in, and it looks beautiful and works! It opens and shuts like it should, and the locks work! I can get in my front door with a key! (Small things)

I can hardly wait to put the back door in. We picked it out this weekend (with a little more knowledge under our belt). We went a little less decorative and more traditional, because it is our back door and the dogs tend to jump up on it. We have a beautiful glass door on the back now, and I hate to replace it, but it is sticking too. We have to keep it locked or it won't even stay closed. The one we chose will work well with a glass storm door which we plan to purchase later. We don't have storm doors or screen doors right now, and I would really like to add those at some point.

We have been adding details to the house which is definitely my favorite part of this process. For me, it is all about the details-those things that set it apart, individualize it, and make it just uniquely us! In the hall and living room I stenciled with wall mud a flower design on the wall. It is the coolest thing. It adds texture and an "old elegance" feeling. The living room design is spaced around the room half way up. The design is painted the same color as the wall except in a flat paint instead of semi-gloss. I have been trying to crackle it, but not working. Other things we are adding or have added: programmable thermostat, new easy open return vent (the old one had to be unscrewed every time you needed to change the filter-the new one has a switch to open it!), dimmer switches, motion controlled lights in the closet (now that is a sweet thing!), antique brass lever door handles (for design and function as we all get order!). We changed out the chandelier in the living room for a ceiling fan-doing alot of moving around lighting and fans. We have a new fan for our room too, but the ceiling isn't waiting...painted yet...can't wait to do that, but the room isn't quite ready for paint.

Speaking of waiting...I am off to a busy day. I have to take Kat to a doctor's appointment, to school, then study study study, and paint, and go to work, and...

Trying to finish the details in the office and get that floor down so my dear daughter can move out of the living room. Sleeping on an air mattress in the middle of the living room has not been fun for her!

Good Kitty

I was watching my hubbie ponder how to replace our front door yesterday when I our cat came walking up with a rat in his mouth. He startled us a bit, and likewise us him, so he dropped the rat. It scurried away, and he chased. A game of cat and mouse then ensued which we had a rare opportunity to witness. Long story short, Milton won. One less rat on the property. Good Kitty

Drinking it in

On the days I go to the prison, I meet my friend at this health food store/cafe to have lunch. This time I chose a Sweet Leaf lemonade to drink. Apparently that brand of drink has wise sayings on the inside of the lids. It is kind of like getting a fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant. My wise saying for the day was: the less you own, the less that owns you

Love it...goes with my downsizing philosophy. While we were in North Carolina, Hurricane Gustav was coming up into Louisiana. We kept an eye on it, but weren't all that concerned. We are still under construction from the last round of flooding-and everyone was calling to see about us-but we know that God is the God of all weather, He also owns everything. Everything we have is because of Him, so if He takes it away, then we would of had less stuff to own us! The experience itself reminds us (pretty much daily) that everything is temporal. Nothing lasts forever. We got lots of rain up here, but no flooding.

Still constructing...today going to really work on my bedroom, sanding, doing some patch mudding. Also going to get my stenciling done in the living room. Might even do a little work on some of the other rooms. Our doors are in so we are picking those up today. Hmmm....God's timing...we have slowed down...doesn't seem to be near as big a hurry...and it is just ok-mostly because it is just a house, and just stuff...and don't want it to own us, all our energy, or all our time.

A Stop By The Past

On our way back from Robert's house in Havelock, NC, we decided to stop by our first base together, Seymour Johnson, in G0ldsboro, Nc. It has been about 24 years since we have been there, and much has changed! We looked for our house-Steve remembered what street we lived on (I didn't). That part of housing no longer exists; a field is where our house once stood. We drove around a bit, and stopped in at the BX where we got t-shirts and Steve a coin. We loaded back up in the truck when a knock on the window startled us. Amazingly enough, Steve's first supervisor was standing there. Wow...we were there less than an hour, and he runs into his first supervisor-someone he first met over 25 years ago.

Shady J was the place where I grew up. I was only 17 when I got there, my first time away from home, not a little girl anymore, but a woman. I learned what "being married" meant, how to take care of my own home. I started college there. It was a time of turmoil and searching. Neither of us were saved and in church. God's grace-we made it through that time, and God took us in a new direction.

Visiting the past gave me a renewed appreciation for the present and the possibilities for the future. I am glad we aren't living that life anymore, but could stop to glimpse back for a minute before moving forward again. Our life has been nothing but change for so long that it is hard at times to find the constant! Of course that constant is Jesus and His abiding love and grace!

Every day presents new challenges and changes...Moving forward...after all we have already been to the past, and we got the tshirt!