17 months Down

It has been right at 17 months since we flooded....wow....how quickly that went by and to think, I thought that we would be done in a year. That didn't happen-maybe we will make it in 2 years!

It is almost Christmas; our second Christmas since the reconstruction. Last year, we had demolished most of the house, had open studs, subfloors, no doors in most of the house, and had only finished one room. We were sleeping in the guest room, and after 6 months, Katherine had finally moved from a trundle in the living room to the office.

I forget sometimes what we have accomplished. There are days when all I can see is what we have left to do, and then I reflect back on where we were. This Christmas, we have refloored most of the house, walls are painted, new wall plates, light fixtures, three of the four bedroom are done. We have been our bedroom for quite awhile now! Our living room is done except for a bit of trim work that needs another coat of paint. Our guest room and bathroom are done too.

What do we have left: the other guest room and two bathrooms, the floor and trim in the den which we are working on right now. The slats are out in one corner. We will have those glued down this week. We have priced a gas heater for this room which might be a reality in the next few weeks. Maybe, just maybe, we will have this floor in by Christmas....which would be just too sweet!

We have formed a plan for our bathroom (quite an accomplishment), chosen our tub, and now need to move some plumbing around and build a wall, replace the ceiling and subfloor...and then install bathroom fixtures! Whew...it is taking a lot of time and costing a lot of money. We are down about $50,000 right now and still have much more to go!!!

Observations

This term I am at Byrd High School for my observations. I am in a Geometry class one day a week and in a Pre Calc/Advanced Math class another. Yesterday I was in the PreCalc. I was a little nervous because that is not something I have ever taught. I figured she would be talking way over my head. I was quite glad she wasn't. I found myself working the problems right along with her and getting excited. I thought to myself, "You know you are a nerd when you are this excited about a math problem!"

I loved working with this teacher. She had command of her classroom, was full of energy, responsive to the needs of her students, and used some pretty impressive strategies for teaching and controlling the room. I was definitely taking notes and thinking, got to try some of that in my room!

Paper Dolls and MAT

Every time I start a new class I wonder what is going to be required. I am a good student, but not incredibly social. There is always that moment when I have to stand up and talk, or interact, or engage in some cooperative learning.

This class was my diverse learner class, and so far, the most I gained from. We talked alot about multiple intelligences and learning preferences. Those ideas weren't new to me, but I did have an opportunity in this class to apply some of that to myself and learn about me. I wasn't who I thought I was.

I am definitely interpersonal, some verbal linguistic, but really a fence straddler on the verbal and math-just enough to make me dangerous but not extremely proficient in either. I also learned that I am abstract sequential which really explained a lot. I can be creative which is unusual for math people, but then again, I am not extremely logical. Those logic puzzles don't interest me at all....I like challenge, but with the attention span of a fly, it better not take me too long to figure it out or I am totally bored with it.

This was my second class, 6 hours of 36 done! Whew...and at a very busy time of my life, so getting this one done was hectic. Our major signature piece for this one was a diversity quilt. Now when I first heard that, I shuddered. A quilt? In six weeks? Plan a wedding, work on remodeling, make a quilt...seriously...I don't think so. Turns out, it wasn't a quilt exactly, but really more of a paper doll. We had to design our doll with symbols that represented us. We also had to include a bio poem, a story about us, and a family history story. I was quite nervous, but once the creative juices got flowing...just couldn't help myself. In all of my college experiences, this one takes the cake. I LOVED doing this project. My doll has a beach themed dress on, with sea shells representing my siblings, and ships tracking our family history. Her vest opens up to reveal a book about me, and my bio poem.

I was so worried about doing this, jumped in, had a blast...and turns out...had the prettiest one in the class...although there were a few art majors that got creative for sure! The math people, not so much! :) My professor laughed as my classmates picked on me...she said I was classic first born overachiever. I am too! I laugh every time she tells a story because it is like looking in a mirror.

The more I learn, the more I grow into myself and become the person I should have been all along, the more eager I am to share my life. The more I want to be doing exactly what I am destined to do...although what that is-still up in the air. I am open. I am growing. I am learning and I am changing every class I take, and every experience I have!

One Class Down

I am on my way to an MAT. My first class ended this week with a final, observations, and a research paper. It was classroom management, and I learned so much more than I could write down. Our teacher gave us excellent resources to work with. The text is phenomenal with all sorts of helps on the web site.
I vacillated back and forth between excitement, awe at the responsibility, and fear-can I really do this? Then...I found myself studying and researching, drawn to what I love to do, teach. I find myself reviewing math formulas, strategies, the how to's....hmmm...where is my heart???? It is in teaching, and as much as I love language and will work in that area too, still lean towards math. Weird I know.
Went to an LSUS graduation yesterday. I watched as student after student walked for masters and bachelor degrees. I tried to count the number of education graduates and wondered about them. They would be looking for teaching positions, would they find what they learned to be helpful? Would they make it? Do they have hearts of teachers? What about me? Will I make it? Will I be able to make a difference? Will I be able to get a job??? :)
First things first, learn and grow, then I will be ready to be what I need to be. 12 more classes to go!

Mother-Daugther Moments

What a sweet time Kat and I had yesterday! The weather here was gorgeous-something we don't take for granted, because it is usually either hot and humid or raining! Her wedding is so close; glad we told her we needed six months to prepare, or it would be even closer! She and I have had some precious moments shopping for wedding ideas, looking at what she might want in her house, and just being together talking about our life. I am getting to share with her all the minute details of her planning her new life together with Jon, and I am honored.

I knew the day would come when some dashing young man would sweep her off her feet. I thought it might have been someone else, but glad it wasn't. I don't know what I hoped as far as when she would get married. God's timing is not my timing; His will is not my will-both of which I am very grateful for since I can't see the big picture from the same perspective He does. A dear friend reminded me just recently that if God is in something, timing is all His, if God is not, no amount of time will make it right!

So...yesterday I didn't have to share her. We went to her first gynecology appointment. Doctor was fabulous, and Kat was such a blessing to me. I asked her if she had any questions for the doctor, and she said no, she could ask her "mommy." Then we popped into IHOP. She ordered a full breakfast-I had toast :). She had class after that. I came home and muddled around a bit. We did lunch and then Kat and I took off to the Boardwalk. She wanted to look at kitchen stuff. There is a new kitchen store down there that had me drooling (and I really don't cook much!). She discovered they do wedding registry-yea for her! We did a bit of clothes shopping, drifting around the area, and then stopped in at Cold Stone for ice cream. She ordered this massive oreo creation in a waffle bowl; I got a small cup of coffee lovers. We sat outside the parlor and people watched. We laughed as people qawked at her ice cream and made comments! Then I was off to work, and so was she.

Steve picked me up from work, and we went to a friend's to work on their wireless. I got to catch up on them, play with their precious little one, and eat strawberry pie (so delicious!). Steve and I headed to Logan's where he got a steak dinner, and I got a sweet potato! (I told him I had been a cheap date all day!). By then Kat was home again. I crawled into bed next to her and we watched Dancing with the Stars on her laptop...before calling it a night. Whew....it was a sweet day with lots of opportunities to bounce ideas off each other, vent a little, plan a little, and make memories!

To be a Teacher....

That is one of those thoughts that have come and gone for many years in my life. I have contemplated doing something else quite a few times....if not for the encouragement and prodding of my hubbie. I really drug my feet getting everything done to start the MAT, if it were not for my hubbie...:) He was determined I was gong to get in and get this done, even if he had to do the leg work to get me there....and he did.

Last night was my first class. My instructor is the principal of Tech's elementary school. She told us story after story of why she is a teacher and why it is important. I found myself tearing up and wondered if anyone else was...snuck a peak to see....couldn't tell. I have some similar stories about kids I have taught-since I started this over 18 years ago and many are grown with their own kids now. There is nothing more amazing than watching a child grow up and reach for what they weren't sure they were capable of achieving. Even thinking about my own children and our family history; my son was the first to go to college right out of highschool and on scholarship. 2 of my 3 kids are in college-not remarkable in itself except that in my family no one went to college. My husband and I are the first to hold degrees in our family.

My professor ended class last night by reading a children's book to us. The book was about a little girl that couldn't read and felt dumb until a wise teacher discoverd she had special needs. With his help she learned to overcome her disability and became a writer (the writer of this book) of children's literature. One teacher made a difference in her life. That is what I love about teaching-reaching the one, inspiring, encouraging, being that cheerleader. I wanted to jump up and shout when she got done with that story! I left class last night so encouraged. I know I have a lot of work in front of me and a lot of changes. I never like change and don't adjust well, but life is all change...and I just got to get over that. I am apprehensive about how I am going to accomplish something so big and manage the rest of my life, but....am also so excited about the possibility!

Wow....I am going to be a teacher.

Great Minds Think....differently

I am sitting here watching Good Morning America which is featuring a concert by U2. Hmmm...not that I know who that is mind you, but they certainly have control of the audience. The audience is doing everything they do, every hand motion...Now that is interesting to me. It makes me reflect on a conversation I had with a teen just recently.

We were talking about how difficult it is to find Christians who are really serious about their faith. So many "Christians" aren't any different than anyone else, not in dress, not in attitude, not in the way they live their lives. I was glancing on FACEBOOK at some photos of "Christian" kids and there is picture after picture of kids making the same looks and hand gestures as everyone else. It poses the question what is a "Christian?"

I can tell you what it is not. It is not someone who attends church of any denomination. It is not someone who can quote a passage of Scripture. It is simply someone who follows Christ. Where is Christ and where is He going? How did He live His life? How was He different from all that had come before Him and will ever come after Him? In God's Word we are told that we are predestined as born again believers in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ to be conformed to His image. God wants me as a believer to be Christ like not world like. To be friends with the world is to be enmity with God...not one of those things we can straddle the fence on...will love the one and hate the other.

Having a conversation with Taylor last week...one of my adopted sons who I love dearly. First let me tell you about Taylor. He appeared last year fresh out of tech school and has been in and out of our lives for over a year. He comes to church once in awhile and joins us for dinner on occasion. He is very real, making no excuses for his behavior. He is definitely my wild child! Anyway...he has an IQ higher than mine so we have this intelligence rivalry going. He really is pretty bright! I made a comment about how great minds think alike and he responded with, "No, great minds think differently." Aha...he is right!

As Christians, we are often accused of being of lesser intelligence, not being able to think for ourselves, being brainwashed and yada, yada,....I have a 3.89 GPA, a Bachelor's degree, a member of Phi Kappa Phi, and am returning to get my MAT. My IQ is higher than the average bear, and I am NOT brainwashed. I can think for myself and recognize truth when I see it. I am not swayed by a professor or my peers. I read and I think. Most importantly, I know that there is really only one absolute truth. History itself teaches me that man is always revising his thinking. What is accepted as fact one day is discredited the next. Man's ideas are finite. God is infinite. Why would I want to be like the world I live in? Why would I want to think like I am told to think? Why would I want to scream individuality while I dress and talk and act like the peers who influence me? Why......Not.....think differently?!

Impressed

This weekend my hubbie worked hard to build my new pantry. We lost most of last week because of revival at church-that and the weight of an upcoming wedding has motivated us to get busy!

I should have been painting myself, but instead ,watched him work and teach Alex. I was quite impressed. He has always been good working with kids on tasks other adults would have cringed at. He is patient, lets them play with power tools, and encourages them to try. I will always look back on my children's growing up years with confidence that my husband did a fantastic job teaching them how to be adults. Our independent sons testify to that fact. Both our boys jump right into whatever task lay before them. They read, research, get the info they need and just do it. Not even our daughter is afraid to pick up a drill, a hammer, or a saw. They can all balance a checkbook, make calls to enquire about banking situations, doctors appointments, insurance, etc. I smile when I think that my husband did accomplish that objective in their lives.

When he was still active duty, he would come home from work after dealing with these 18 yr. olds and say his kids were not going to go out into the world and not know how to take care of themselves. He set his heart on preparing them to be adults. He was and is an awesome father. He is an amazing man. He makes me a better person just because I share my life with him.

After nearly 26 years of marriage....I am still impressed. I am impressed by what he has learned to do over the years, how patient he is when he is working with young people, or listening to adults rant and rave about absolutely nothing. He takes time to listen to me, to hold me when I am hurting, to encourage me when I feel like a failure, to read books about marriage, or research something for someone else so he can help them. Yep, I am impressed. If his sons never completely understand who their father is, I will still know. I will still look at him with wonder, awe, and a heart full of love and respect.

Love, Love, Love

I knew this guy one time that wrote an essay on "What is love." He hit pretty close, but really, Love defies human comprehension....at least the kind of love that makes a difference. I often look at myself and wonder if I am even close. God's love for me is an agape love, a love that is completely independent of me, completely unconditional. I find in most of my relationships, love is anything but unconditional. Not only do I expect something from other people, their demands on me are at times stifling.

I was reading in this little booklet this morning by Gary Smalley, I Promise. It is a covenant book for married couples or those about to be married. My hubbie ordered it not too long ago. He has already read through it, and I am working on it (along with the other dozen or so books I am reading at this moment). One idea really caught my idea today. This idea of "focus."

We can choose what we focus on in other people. We are all composed of good and bad qualities. For every positive, there is a negative. All we have to do is look. (I am paraphrasing Dr. Smalley). In a relationship, we choose what to focus on. I have certainly been on both sides of that issue. There have been lots of times in my marriage when my husband wasn't what I thought I needed. My heart attitude turned negative, and I had to get a grip. I am sure he would say the same thing about me. Not only is that true in our marriage, but as parents, with our children's spouses, and with our extended family and friend relationships. I could list lots of negatives in my own life, my children's lives, my in-laws, out-laws, and everyone in between, but...if love is independent of that, then I have to choose to love anyway and I do.

I choose to love my kids and their spouses regardless of anything that has been said or done on their ends. I choose to love my siblings and parents despite the neglect, abuses, and pain suffered at their hand. (I called both my mom and dad this week) I choose to love the sweet people God has blessed us with, even though they have glaring faults (just like I do). Only God changes people. It is God which is at work in my life to conform me into his image. It is God who is at work all around me. It is God who places us in the family of His choosing, and it is God who knows why. I am trusting. I am choosing to focus on what is good, not on what is not. Love? I don't know that I really know how, but I am learning.

Lord, bless my children today. Guide their hearts and their relationships down the roads that lead completely to you. Give them victory in their marriages, in their on going relationships, at school and at work. Give them favor with every life they touch. Reveal to them how much you love them and are at work in their lives. Remind them today that their very names are written on the palms of your hands. I know you will finish what you have begun in all of our lives and am trusting you to do just that. Thank you that your love for us is so individual and so complete and not a tear is shed that you don't see. Thank you for giving us life and life abundantly. Thank you that not a word of yours returns void and that every situation that ever has been, is currently, or shall be is not hid from you. You know our downsitting and our rising. You have known us before we were formed. You remember that we are but dust but love us anyway. Lord, thank you for placing me into my birth family, the family I married into, and the Spiritual family I was reborn into. Lord thank you for giving me the children you gave me for the time that you did. Thank you for providing life long mates for them. Lord, it is all Yours...it is all Yours!

To Be Engaged

It finally happened. My baby is engaged to be married. I knew it was coming...not really suprised by it at all. I was quite nervous when Jon sat us down to ask us, and not sure why I was except that he was!

I am really excited for the both of them. I have been praying for Jon for over a year now, that God would provide for him a Christian wife. He has been such a sweetheart, and we have enjoyed him. A few months back, when Katherine broke up with Todd, I was talking to Jon about coming over for Christmas dinner. I text him and asked him to pray for Katherine, because she had some stuff in her life. He really didn't know her except in passing. He said he would pray. I then began to pray for the both of them, asking God for His will and to possibly knit their hearts together. I really had no idea what God would do.

We had bunches of people over here for Christmas, including Jon, Taylor, Chris, and Shawna. Chris was back in pursuit of Katherine. He had started calling her again, popping in to work with lunch or starbucks. I wondered if maybe God had done something in Chris. Well, the real Chris showed up at Christmas. He behaved badly...was incredibly jealous of Taylor, didn't join us for dinner, but instead pouted in his car for hours. To top the evening off...he left an engagement ring on her dresser. She found it and came unglued. That was that, and she sent him packing.

During the course of the day, Kat and Jon had a few minutes to talk and get aquainted. Next thing I knew, they were on the phone incessantly. Next, they were here together. It went faster than I could have imagined. I knew Jon was serious from the get go. I knew he wasn't looking for a fleeting girlfriend relationship, and I knew he would make up his mind quickly. Even knowing all of that...wow...not quite prepared for the reality of it.

So here we are....in the midst of rebuilding a house which we must finish...and now we are planning a wedding.

By the way...Congratulations to my daughter and soon to be son-in-law!

MAT in sight

Finally...after all my hem hawing around...nervous about stepping out and trying to balance something else...I am on track!

Went to Tech yesterday to meet with a counselor and finish up my admission requirements. She went over the program with me, what classes were offered when and what I would need to do. It is definitely different that a bachelors...lots of extra work to do besides the classes themselves. I am quite nervous about the change, about going into the schools here and watching the classrooms at work, but know it will give me an opportunity to grow as a teacher.

Sylvan has really allowed me to teach different ages in different ways. It has been such a learning experience for me....to see how they suggest a concept is presented, what tools to use to teach a skill...Much more valuable than any book knowledge could be.

Now it is time to move forward again. I start my first class in March, and according to my plan of study, will be down to just a few classes by fall of next year. By then, I will know where my heart is in teaching....what age and grade, and what to do next!

Valentine's Day

How many years have I spent with my hubbie as my valentine? Hmmm...I met him when I was 12 years old which seems incredible to me right at this moment. I have known him for over 30 years. The last few months have been so stressful in our lives which is causing us to really sit down and reevaluate where we are and where do we want to go? So much of our life has stood still because we have allowed other things to be a greater priority. Life itself, the needs of other people in our life, work obligations, our children, and now extended family and the reconstruction of our house...all stand in the way of time we desperately need together.

We keep saying we need to make changes, and we are doing that but not fast enough! Our time and resources go everywhere but into us. I love Valentine's Day-always have. I love being able to do something special for our children and now our grandchild to remind them that we love them. I don't see Valentines as just a day for lovers. Speaking of lovers, my husband and I have been married long enough now that being creative is getting a little tough! This year we decided we were going to get matching jammies. we looked and looked and finally settled on ones from Old Navy. That was so much fun....to parade around in our matching jammies! [smile]

We started out our valentine day discussing our day. We had lost too much time the week before and stuff in the house just had to be done. While debating our schedule, we ate chocolate covered cherries (I love those!). Then I was off to take Kat's car in, and meet Shawna fand Shelly for breakfast. We had breakfast at Ihop and played valentine bingo while we waited. That promped an awful lot of playing with the conversation hearts. We made sentences for Kat who saved them to give to Jon...ok...so breakfast ended up being like 2 hours! LOL. Left there, ran an errand and came home.

Steve was already at work when I got here. I joined in, between cooking and getting ready for our evening. I made chocolate covered cherries and strawberries, and boiled shrimp. After hours of work on the house, Jon came in to surprise Kat with a candelight dinner of subway. Then they left. After they left, we took a shower and sat down to eat our shrimp, cheese and crackers, and strawberries. We had ordered Fireproof which came in earlier in the day. We watched that while we ate. It was such a strong movie, and we talked about doing the Love Dare together. We haven't been married too long to always be working on ways to improve our relationship.

It wasn't a day like I would of planned it to be, but it was such a good day. We spent it together working together, laughing together, and just being together. We had another opportunity to share our life and our love. Love isn't expressed just in quality of time, but in quantity of time. That I am very thankful for!

Freedom...

Freedom Isn't Free...so what does it require? Truth (John 8:31-32 "Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

What is Truth? God's Word (John 17:17 "Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.")

Wow...how simple is that??? One truth, one absolute, and if practice makes permanent....then practicing living in truth is certainly a much better idea than practicing living by a false philosophy.

God Still Speaks

A few weeks back I had to teach in the Ladies Jail Ministry on short notice. I had no idea what I was going to teach, but got up that morning seeking direction. I could have not gone that day, but it was the last day for two weeks and did not want to leave them without any encouragement. God gave me a lesson on how He speaks.

It is hard to distinguish His voice from all the others that whisper, shout, sneak around the corner, or tap on my shoulder in any given day. I find that teaching Scripture truths speaks to me as I prepare it in probably a greater way than it does to those listening. God has really been speaking to me...and I have been really trying to listen.

My daughter is on an amazing ride right now. I have been praying for her for so long, as I have all my children. They start off my prayer list...my children by birth, those who have married into our family, and those who have become such a part of our lives that we count them among us. My heart lifts them up daily, and often hourly. To see God do the work in their lives I am crying out to Him for is an amazing thing. (I often fall into a deceived mentality that God is not listening and isn't working, but in truth, He is working, in His time, and in His way).

We sat, my daughter and I, chatting last night about her heart. God has revealed to her the necessity of giving up her life to Him, and letting Him direct and provide for her. He is proving He is able to do that in amazing ways...Jon has joined in with us, after much prayer for him and her. It is hard not to love Jon. He is faithful, full of laughter, comfortable being himself and letting everyone be themselves around him. We laugh so much when he is here, and I haven't heard Kat laugh this much in years and years and years. As amazing as that story is, the greater work is the work of the heart. Because she sees what God is doing for her and in her, she wants to share that with those she loves. She has a renewed burden for her friends and the direction of their lives. She sees for the first time, the struggles and burdens we have had for her in the direction she wanted to go. She understands the difference in real love for someone and the need for accountability in our lives.

God is speaking to her...He is speaking to me....as I listen, make decisions-even the hard ones-based on obedience to Him, He gives great peace and comfort. I had to make one of those unpopular decisions this week, and I know there will be repercussions from those who want me to do something different, but I am not here to please men...I am here to please God. The whole process made me think of the tshirt "I can only please one person today, and today is not your day." Today is God's Day...today, as He speaks, Lord, help me listen and obey!