Mission Conference

We just wrapped up or church's primary mission conference under our new pastor. It was quite different from previous years (which was to be expected), but it was just awesome. God really challenged my heart through the music, interaction, and messages. I wanted to go to every place presented! Our pastor spoke last night. His challenge to us was to love our Lord in such a way that we were faithful in our own personal mission field. We have neighbors who need to be reached. I need prayer on how to reach them.

Today, the Monday after, I am absolutely exhausted! I am not sure if it is more physical, emotional, or Spiritual. There was so much going on in one week...who knows! I needed to hit the ground running today, but it sure didn't happen. I am too tired to move that fast!

Saturday, I took my Praxis: Math Content. I prayed myself to sleep Friday night, got up Sat. morning, ate protein, did devotions, and reviewed for a minute. I was so nervous. I got there and had to wait for about 45 minutes. It was incredibly challenging; there was virtually nothing on it that I have ever taught or likely to. The questions were more theoretical, thought provoking, than just punch in a calculator do the Algebra kind of thing. By question #37, I was mentally whipped and wanted to quit-13 questions to do and 30 minutes left to do them in. After a short pep talk with myself and a prayer for help, "Lord, which of these problems can I do?" "Lord, which of these answers is correct?" I figured He knew, because I sure didn't! I kept plugging away and did my best to finish. Now I have to wait 4 weeks to see if I made the cutoff score. There was a disclaimer on the back which said not all questions may be counted-sure hoping those are the ones I had to guess "C."

Not much got done on the house last week, and I am feeling overwhelmed by that. We have only managed to get two quads of tiles down, bummer. I have some little things I can work on, but tile really needs to go in. We thought we could do it in pieces...mixed the thin set...bought a big bucket to store the left over in...set our first quad...and wanted to wait to see how it did. Next day, opened up the bucket to work on the next quad--thin set completely solid! Zug! New idea-buy the premixed stuff...it doesn't dry out like that, and Steve did get another quad set, but..it is taking forever to harden. It has been drying for two days and still not solid. Hmmm....need a new plan!

Katherine and I are sewing this week for SCA. We really wrestled with it, but how could we refuse. Girls need coulottes-not one of those things you can just run buy! Somehow-God's grace I am sure-her and I have to get about 20 pairs done in just over a week. It would already be challenging, but we have to start from scratch on the pattern. We weren't able to get the pattern we loaned out back. I searched for another similar one, and think I found one, but it has to be altered. That too would not be that big of deal; however, a friend altered the last one for me; I didn't pay attention, and she is no longer available! Kat and I both are working today, so in between-going to SCA to get initial measurements; After work I am going to get fabric, and then her and I are going to get started cutting. In between the sew moments, gonna try to get a few things done on the house. Really hoped to be in phase two by the first of December...still a long way from that! Alright...we will get it done...because God knows our hearts, and He knows the needs.
I'm off-not running-but moving!

Not a Youth Anymore

"We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."

The call in topic on the radio yesterday was growing old. Someone was having a "40" birthday. That one has already come and gone here...it really wasn't that big of a deal..really...in Bible days, 40 was the age that middle age began. You were considered a youth until the age of 40. 40-60 is the middle ages, and then 60 is a transition into older "wiser" adulthood. I liked being a youth until age 40, but really, having a childlike faith, a childlike innocence, a childlike outlook on life is something to aspire to at any age. Innocence is gone way too early in the days we live in. Our ability to see the beauty and wonder of life is stolen away long before we reach the end of our youth. Being able to laugh, to play, to see wonder and beauty in God's creation, to love through His eyes and in His power are certainly factors in maintaining a youthful heart (at least in my opinion). On the other side of the coin is the idea of growing old gracefully. One of the callers on the radio was discussing wrinkles, other affects of aging, and the privilege it is to grow old-Not everyone gets that opportunity. Many die before they experience the affects of aging. This caller's brother died in his 30's, in the days of his youth.

It has been a busy week this week-we are in our mission conference. Kat had an appointment in Arkansas, and I have to take my Praxis tomorrow morning. In the middle of all that, God has burdened my heart for several people. I don't always listen when God speaks, but this time, my heart was so heavy, not to respond would have been way too much to carry. I made some calls, made some visits, prayed, and set aside my life for others. Doing that has given me such a boost. I have felt so alive this week! My devotions were on the power and action of grace. Real grace, an understanding of what God has done and given to us is lived out in service to others. I don't serve naturally; it is a work of grace; it is an answer to prayer. I have asked God to make me a see-through-servant so that all anyone sees is Jesus, but sometimes I get jealous when I don't get the recognition I think I deserve. Too much of the time, "I" get in the way, but this week, I have stepped back and let God have His way! It has been such a powerful week-to see God and experience Him working in peoples' lives. No words describe it except AWESOME!

Last night the physical demands did catch up to me. The arthritis kicked in and started acting up; I couldn't use my right arm. My wrist started swelling, my fingers were stuck, it ached all the way up to my elbow, and I had absolutely no strength in my hand. It still hurt this morning when I got up. I was quickly reminded that the body doesn't live forever-it has limitations-it is aging and wearing out. I am also reminded that life is good, but eternal life is better! Being active, sharing my life, playing a little with my friends and family does indeed make me feel more like a youth and less "middle aged." Who knows how much more time any of us have, but I do know God is busy all around me, and it is sure a privilege to join Him in the work He is doing!

I'm Gonna Miss This

Katherine and I went to Arkansas yesterday for her arthritis checkup. We go about every four or five months on this little road trip. Her and I have had the opportunity to take several road trips together. They are sweet times for us to get to know each other a little better and talk about stuff in our lives. I love those moments when it is just her and I. She channel surfs when she is driving which really annoys me, but also brings us to hysterical laughter quite often. Yesterday, we stumbled across songs which we turned up really loud and sang at the top of our lungs, songs which brought back funny, and sad, memories, songs which made us stop and ponder. Trace Adkins "You're Gonna Miss This" is one of those songs that really challenges me to reflect on how quickly life goes by. I miss the early days of our marriage, when our kids were tiny, demanding, fighting, running around all hours of the day and night, exploring, learning, and just experiencing the newness of life. They were in such a hurry to grow up, and at times I was in a hurry too, but...I miss those days. I look at Kat, who is so in a hurry to grow up, so in a hurry to find the right guy, get married, settle down with her own life, and I want to say with Adkins..Baby, just slow down, you are gonna miss this. These are some good times, and I know I am gonna miss this too!


She was starin out the window of their SUV
Complainin sayin I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money
And I'll make my own rules
Momma put the car in park out there
in front of the school
And she kissed her head, and said 'I was just like you'

You're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment And her daddy stops by
He tells her it's a nice place
She says, 'It'll do for now'
Starts talkin' about babies, and buyin a house
Daddy shakes his head And says baby just slow down

Cuz' you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this

Five years later there's a plumber
Workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin' one kid's screamin'
And she keeps apologizin'
But he says they don't bother me
I've got two babies of my own
One's thirty- six, one's twenty- three
Huh, it's hard to believe

But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' want this back
You're gonna' wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna' miss this
You're gonna' miss this
Yeaahhhh... you're gonna' miss this...

Jesus Whispers Sweet and Low

There's within my heart a melody...Jesus whispers sweet and low...Alex had to choose an enrichment class this year. He got three choices. His first choice was art, second computer, third piano. He registered for classes the week before school started (no fault of his own), but that means you usually don't get your first choice. We were of course thrilled he got piano-him-not so much. We encouraged him in that Katherine could help him and we had a full weighted keyboard he could practice on!

Katherine started taking piano on Sept. 11, 2001 (really). Alex has always loved Katherine which gives her an open door with him. Well...to make a long story short...we haven't had the keyboard in the house since the flood. Alex was getting impatient and attempted to set it up in the shed which resulted in him getting a tongue lashing from every imaginable angle. (He picked it up by himself, dug out the cables and amp, and was trying to hook it up when he got caught-it is very heavy and quite fragile) His very life hung in the balance when his favorite cousin found out what he had done! She did regroup however, as did Steve, and we brought the keyboard in the house.

Katherine dusted it off, hooked everything up, and started to play. Piano music hasn't filled the house in over five months....it was sweet to hear it again. She played a bit, and instructed Alex who got to show off what he had been learning in piano class. Turns out he is learning from the same books she stared with except for the junior hymn book (she had a private Christian instructor; he goes to public school). She went and dug the hymn book out and started teaching him a song from that book. She told him she wanted him to practice from that one too. How precious!

He sits by me in church which gives me a birds-eye-view of how he is responding to the sermons. Our pastor is awesome...and Alex is listening. Last night was the first night he wanted to look up verses and read them. He sure has moments, but the seed is being planted, and we are praying for it to also be watered and bring forth fruit! How powerful music is in communicating....how sweet it is that Jesus whispers to our heart!

Back in Prison

This round was actually my third trip, but...this time it was my turn to teach. One of the amazing things about being there is how open the ladies are, no pretense at all. They just talk, hug, smile, joke around, as if we have been friends our entire lives! The 22 year old is still there. I have learned her name now. She comes to Bible study. We met another one this time who was only 18. She was absolutely hysterical the entire time....to be 18...and in prison...very scared!

I wrestled over what to teach. What did these ladies need to hear....what was God already doing in their lives...would I stumble...would I say something totally irrelevant to them...not to mention...I usually teach 4th grade girls. I thought...we should all be kids once in awhile-with the innocence that comes from that so I included a crossword type puzzle on the back of my lesson outline. They absolutely loved it. I also asked Ms. Shirley about using my left over verse cards and activity sheets from Sunday School. I brought the verse cards which went very fast! So good to know those are going to good use! Next time I am going to bring the activity papers and see how they respond to those.

I began working on a lesson about David for Sunday School....and as it turns out...that was the Sunday I was out with Katherine. The lesson itself got my attention so I kept working on it. It was the one God used on this prison visit. It was such an amazing thing that words just can't capture it! I was soooo nervous...but had my outline typed with the verses I would be using (Ms. Shirley says she types up the lesson so the ladies had them for later to look over, study, share, and the Bibles we give out are tiny tiny print-very hard to read and follow in a Bible study).

The study consisted of David being chosen as the second king of Israel, Saul being rejected, and the question why reject Saul over David? What made David a man after God's own heart? We answered that question with a definition of rebellion/disobedience, a look at David's repentance and Saul's excuses, and a peek at David's heart through his own words in the psalms. The challenge to us all was could God call "me" a woman after God's own heart? Could David's words be mine? I was challenged by it, and so were our ladies. Several cried and gave testimony. Ms. Shirley stepped right up and asked about their salvation. Many profess to be saved, but one came this time who hadn't come before. Ms. Shirley had been inviting her for months. She told us this was the first time she had come to a service that she wanted to. She was very open, knows she isn't saved, but wasn't ready to respond to that. Door is open-seed is planted-and amazingly, many of the ladies have been witnessing to her! Both pods (we do the lesson twice-also a first for me) ended in tears, testimony, and open forum. It was just awesome! I don't know what God has planned for any of them, but I am so thankful to be a small part of it! Will teach again in a few weeks, don't know what I am doing, but already Abraham is on my mind and the covenant in Genesis 15! How in need we are of grace!

Go To The Ant

"Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise." Proverbs 6:6

I have considered that verse alot these past few months as ants continue to invade! There is no real way to stop them right now, because there are too many ways for them to get in the house. I wipe them off the counters, sweep them off the floors, and fish them out of whatever...a can canister occasionally, pots and pans, cups...it reminded me of a time at SCA when there was a roach issue right around the coffee pot. Sometimes they would get into the filter or the pot. We would pour a cup of coffee and my goodness, a bug would be swimming along! One such time, Bro. Mike (previous pastor of Baptist Tabernacle) and I were standing there making cups of coffee. Both of us got floaties. He fished his out and kept on drinking! LOL-I on the other hand dumped mine and started over. He told me that after being on the mission field, he could eat just about anything, things like floaties didn't bother him at all! I have a new appreciation for that...I am not on a foreign mission field, but I am in a construction zone being invaded by all kinds of critters. Bro. Mike, I have fished a few ants out of my coffee (they got on the spoon or in the cup without me catching them)-I didn't dump it, just kept on drinking it! I have fished them out of something on the stove, shrugged, and ate it anyway. That is probably grossing some of you out, seeing Bro. Mike do that sure did me, but it is amazing what you can learn to live with when you have to...and those ants...did you know they are blind (or so I am told)?

Out With the Old: In With the New

I dont' know that I really appreciated how different a room looks with new windows! Our room didn't even have windows, now there are three of them! It is amazing what a difference the windows make in there! I usually go for the old over the new, but not in this case! We are putting new windows in in phases (17 windows in the house with a price tag of >7,000), so this round did our bedroom and the office (6 total). From the outside, it is quite obvious where the new ones are, and now I am impatient, want to get done with this phase so we can go on to the next one!

Our schedule is turned upside down a bit because we are juggling vehicles. That coming and going slows us down. Hard to get motivated when you have to keep going somewhere! Today I am off (yippee), so only have to take Kat to class, run a few errands and I am home for the day, at least until our daily Lowes trip. I am definitely going to take advantage of being home and get my room sanded. ( I stall on the sanding because it is so messy!) Shawna is coming on Thursday and I sooooooooo want to be ready to paint in there! (all that and working on the office so Kat can move in that room!) Whew....need B12 shots!

Improvising

Nothing like a natural disaster to bring out the creativity hidden inside of us...Katherine is no exception! She has spent the last several months without a bedroom. She sleeps on an air mattress in the living room (not much privacy and certainly not quiet!). She decided a week or so ago that she wanted to make her "bed" up with her new bedding...creature comforts. Last week, she got a little more creative. We had already hooked up a tv and dvd player in there and set it on an end table. She went a step further; she found her satellite receiver and hooked it up. She ran the cables under the wall (no baseboards yet) between the living room and her room and hooked it up to the tv. She didn't feel good this Saturday so she spent most of the day cuddled up in her "bed" in her "bedroom" watching tv! We are working on what we call the office (a guest room) attempting to get it done. We are down to doors, floors and trim in there. (New windows going in today-guys are here removing the old ones). Prayerfully this week it will be done (although we are tiling and haven't done that before), and she can move in there. Ya think she will miss her old room????

Drama

Is everyone's life filled with drama or is it just mine? I was talking to my brother last week and he laughed. He said it is always something over there...and it is. He was referring to Katherine wrecking her car, all that goes with that, and then...she blew a plug in the living room, leaving us in a brown out. So Friday, I kept Caitlyn who would not sleep all day. If Doreen hadn't of been here to relieve me, I would have gotten absolutely nothing done except hold her. I did manage to squeeze in a load of laundry, sweep a floor, study a bit, and make lunch. It took me all day to get dressed and brush my teeth! Wow...forgot how much time it takes to take care of an infant! After Tonia picked Caitlyn up, I went right to work on my Praxis. I studied that till dinner, went to dinner at Saltgrass (Texas steakhouse right here in Louisiana), and walked around the boardwalk for a bit, mostly so Steve and Todd could have man to man time (that was at Katherine's request). Katherine and Todd are now official...she is of course beaming ( I really hope this is a case of third times a charm and not three strikes your are out!) After the walk and talk, we came home, and I again went to work on my Praxis. I was getting pretty excited, thought maybe, just maybe I could pass it...then...it was cancelled due to the hurricane. Wow...bitter sweet...all those hours put in to prepare for it...I do have more time to learn all those formulas and how to operate this fancy smancy calculator which will do everything but the dishes! Hurricane winds and rain swept through leaving a wake of pecan branches and debris all over the place, but we did not flood and did not lose power (except for our little brown out adventure!) Yea...and all that drama only covers one week in the life of the Ward family!

New Math

1 van plus 1 car plus 1 truck = 3 vehicles, but 3 vehicles- 1 van - 1 car =4: 2 trucks, 1 jeep, and 1 Saturn - 1 truck and 1 Saturn= 2 again. Hmmm?? Confused? Us too...Kat wrecked her Saturn which has now been totalled. We are waiting to hear what the insurance company is going to settle on so we will know what we owe. So we are back at two vehicles, three people, three jobs, and college. Well God always knows...Kat got a new job at Aafes. The job just opened up. She will be working from 2-9ish every day except her class night at the BX which is just a hop, skip, and jump from the education building. She gets out of class at 12ish every day which gives her time to walk over there, get something to eat and maybe do some homework (maybe?). It makes for a long day for her, but steady hours, no real transportation issues (she goes to class and gets off work at compatible times for me to take her and pick her up), and steady pay. Her hours at Kohl's has been so up and down, and she is not making enough to pay her way. Aafes has long term potential for her so who knows...God does!

Speaking of new math-I have been studying for my Praxis II tomorrow. I have been cramming so much information into my little brain that it is having trouble processing the smallest of requests! I couldn't do simple division last night at Sylvan! Decided a night off was in order so I could be fresher today in my review and practice tests. I am in no way ready for this test, but have to plunge in. Maybe with a little grace, the questions I know will be the ones on my test as opposed to the multitude of questions I have no clue on! I am so anxious about it that last night I had one of those high school dreams-the one where you show up late, can't find your class, your seat, your locker, don't have your supplies, pencils, paper, everyone is waiting on you, etc...(I wasn't naked-not the dream where you show up in your underwear). I woke up with a start this morning and then had to smile. That anxiousness over school never seems to go away, no matter how old we get! Tomorrow is the day...have a very full day today-plumber will be here any minute, Kat will be in and out with school and aafes paperwork, and...I needed her help today babysitting Caitlyn. I have no idea how I am going to study and take care of a baby (little out of practice on that one!), but I will sneak it in somehow! Tonight we are taking Todd and Kat out for a steak dinner-repayment to Todd for taking care of the house while we were in NC. I am sure dinner for me will be laced with visions of numbers/letters/symbols dancing in my head!

My book is sitting next to me, baby is stirring-eyes open-better make a bottle, someone is calling....

Words of Wisdom

"but still try, for who knows what is possible..."- Michael Farraday

Yep...with man lots of things are impossible, but with God nothing is impossible!

All about the details

Our doors have been sticking since the flood, hard to close, hard to open, keys won't work in the locks...etc...as of this past Saturday, have a new front door. It was one of our first purchases (before we had any idea what we were doing)! Nothing is really standard in this house, so of course the door was not a perfect fit. It was about four inches shorter than our original door.

Watching my husband process and work things out is an amazing thing! He sat down, thought and decided to build a header for the door. He got that done and then there was the leveling/squaring it. Of course the house isn't square anymore so anytime we need something level, a bit of a challenge presents itself. He did get it, got the door in, and it looks beautiful and works! It opens and shuts like it should, and the locks work! I can get in my front door with a key! (Small things)

I can hardly wait to put the back door in. We picked it out this weekend (with a little more knowledge under our belt). We went a little less decorative and more traditional, because it is our back door and the dogs tend to jump up on it. We have a beautiful glass door on the back now, and I hate to replace it, but it is sticking too. We have to keep it locked or it won't even stay closed. The one we chose will work well with a glass storm door which we plan to purchase later. We don't have storm doors or screen doors right now, and I would really like to add those at some point.

We have been adding details to the house which is definitely my favorite part of this process. For me, it is all about the details-those things that set it apart, individualize it, and make it just uniquely us! In the hall and living room I stenciled with wall mud a flower design on the wall. It is the coolest thing. It adds texture and an "old elegance" feeling. The living room design is spaced around the room half way up. The design is painted the same color as the wall except in a flat paint instead of semi-gloss. I have been trying to crackle it, but not working. Other things we are adding or have added: programmable thermostat, new easy open return vent (the old one had to be unscrewed every time you needed to change the filter-the new one has a switch to open it!), dimmer switches, motion controlled lights in the closet (now that is a sweet thing!), antique brass lever door handles (for design and function as we all get order!). We changed out the chandelier in the living room for a ceiling fan-doing alot of moving around lighting and fans. We have a new fan for our room too, but the ceiling isn't waiting...painted yet...can't wait to do that, but the room isn't quite ready for paint.

Speaking of waiting...I am off to a busy day. I have to take Kat to a doctor's appointment, to school, then study study study, and paint, and go to work, and...

Trying to finish the details in the office and get that floor down so my dear daughter can move out of the living room. Sleeping on an air mattress in the middle of the living room has not been fun for her!

Good Kitty

I was watching my hubbie ponder how to replace our front door yesterday when I our cat came walking up with a rat in his mouth. He startled us a bit, and likewise us him, so he dropped the rat. It scurried away, and he chased. A game of cat and mouse then ensued which we had a rare opportunity to witness. Long story short, Milton won. One less rat on the property. Good Kitty

Drinking it in

On the days I go to the prison, I meet my friend at this health food store/cafe to have lunch. This time I chose a Sweet Leaf lemonade to drink. Apparently that brand of drink has wise sayings on the inside of the lids. It is kind of like getting a fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant. My wise saying for the day was: the less you own, the less that owns you

Love it...goes with my downsizing philosophy. While we were in North Carolina, Hurricane Gustav was coming up into Louisiana. We kept an eye on it, but weren't all that concerned. We are still under construction from the last round of flooding-and everyone was calling to see about us-but we know that God is the God of all weather, He also owns everything. Everything we have is because of Him, so if He takes it away, then we would of had less stuff to own us! The experience itself reminds us (pretty much daily) that everything is temporal. Nothing lasts forever. We got lots of rain up here, but no flooding.

Still constructing...today going to really work on my bedroom, sanding, doing some patch mudding. Also going to get my stenciling done in the living room. Might even do a little work on some of the other rooms. Our doors are in so we are picking those up today. Hmmm....God's timing...we have slowed down...doesn't seem to be near as big a hurry...and it is just ok-mostly because it is just a house, and just stuff...and don't want it to own us, all our energy, or all our time.

A Stop By The Past

On our way back from Robert's house in Havelock, NC, we decided to stop by our first base together, Seymour Johnson, in G0ldsboro, Nc. It has been about 24 years since we have been there, and much has changed! We looked for our house-Steve remembered what street we lived on (I didn't). That part of housing no longer exists; a field is where our house once stood. We drove around a bit, and stopped in at the BX where we got t-shirts and Steve a coin. We loaded back up in the truck when a knock on the window startled us. Amazingly enough, Steve's first supervisor was standing there. Wow...we were there less than an hour, and he runs into his first supervisor-someone he first met over 25 years ago.

Shady J was the place where I grew up. I was only 17 when I got there, my first time away from home, not a little girl anymore, but a woman. I learned what "being married" meant, how to take care of my own home. I started college there. It was a time of turmoil and searching. Neither of us were saved and in church. God's grace-we made it through that time, and God took us in a new direction.

Visiting the past gave me a renewed appreciation for the present and the possibilities for the future. I am glad we aren't living that life anymore, but could stop to glimpse back for a minute before moving forward again. Our life has been nothing but change for so long that it is hard at times to find the constant! Of course that constant is Jesus and His abiding love and grace!

Every day presents new challenges and changes...Moving forward...after all we have already been to the past, and we got the tshirt!

Aaron's First Birthday (8-31-08)

Make a Smilebox scrapbook