Jesus Whispers Sweet and Low

There's within my heart a melody...Jesus whispers sweet and low...Alex had to choose an enrichment class this year. He got three choices. His first choice was art, second computer, third piano. He registered for classes the week before school started (no fault of his own), but that means you usually don't get your first choice. We were of course thrilled he got piano-him-not so much. We encouraged him in that Katherine could help him and we had a full weighted keyboard he could practice on!

Katherine started taking piano on Sept. 11, 2001 (really). Alex has always loved Katherine which gives her an open door with him. Well...to make a long story short...we haven't had the keyboard in the house since the flood. Alex was getting impatient and attempted to set it up in the shed which resulted in him getting a tongue lashing from every imaginable angle. (He picked it up by himself, dug out the cables and amp, and was trying to hook it up when he got caught-it is very heavy and quite fragile) His very life hung in the balance when his favorite cousin found out what he had done! She did regroup however, as did Steve, and we brought the keyboard in the house.

Katherine dusted it off, hooked everything up, and started to play. Piano music hasn't filled the house in over five months....it was sweet to hear it again. She played a bit, and instructed Alex who got to show off what he had been learning in piano class. Turns out he is learning from the same books she stared with except for the junior hymn book (she had a private Christian instructor; he goes to public school). She went and dug the hymn book out and started teaching him a song from that book. She told him she wanted him to practice from that one too. How precious!

He sits by me in church which gives me a birds-eye-view of how he is responding to the sermons. Our pastor is awesome...and Alex is listening. Last night was the first night he wanted to look up verses and read them. He sure has moments, but the seed is being planted, and we are praying for it to also be watered and bring forth fruit! How powerful music is in communicating....how sweet it is that Jesus whispers to our heart!

Back in Prison

This round was actually my third trip, but...this time it was my turn to teach. One of the amazing things about being there is how open the ladies are, no pretense at all. They just talk, hug, smile, joke around, as if we have been friends our entire lives! The 22 year old is still there. I have learned her name now. She comes to Bible study. We met another one this time who was only 18. She was absolutely hysterical the entire time....to be 18...and in prison...very scared!

I wrestled over what to teach. What did these ladies need to hear....what was God already doing in their lives...would I stumble...would I say something totally irrelevant to them...not to mention...I usually teach 4th grade girls. I thought...we should all be kids once in awhile-with the innocence that comes from that so I included a crossword type puzzle on the back of my lesson outline. They absolutely loved it. I also asked Ms. Shirley about using my left over verse cards and activity sheets from Sunday School. I brought the verse cards which went very fast! So good to know those are going to good use! Next time I am going to bring the activity papers and see how they respond to those.

I began working on a lesson about David for Sunday School....and as it turns out...that was the Sunday I was out with Katherine. The lesson itself got my attention so I kept working on it. It was the one God used on this prison visit. It was such an amazing thing that words just can't capture it! I was soooo nervous...but had my outline typed with the verses I would be using (Ms. Shirley says she types up the lesson so the ladies had them for later to look over, study, share, and the Bibles we give out are tiny tiny print-very hard to read and follow in a Bible study).

The study consisted of David being chosen as the second king of Israel, Saul being rejected, and the question why reject Saul over David? What made David a man after God's own heart? We answered that question with a definition of rebellion/disobedience, a look at David's repentance and Saul's excuses, and a peek at David's heart through his own words in the psalms. The challenge to us all was could God call "me" a woman after God's own heart? Could David's words be mine? I was challenged by it, and so were our ladies. Several cried and gave testimony. Ms. Shirley stepped right up and asked about their salvation. Many profess to be saved, but one came this time who hadn't come before. Ms. Shirley had been inviting her for months. She told us this was the first time she had come to a service that she wanted to. She was very open, knows she isn't saved, but wasn't ready to respond to that. Door is open-seed is planted-and amazingly, many of the ladies have been witnessing to her! Both pods (we do the lesson twice-also a first for me) ended in tears, testimony, and open forum. It was just awesome! I don't know what God has planned for any of them, but I am so thankful to be a small part of it! Will teach again in a few weeks, don't know what I am doing, but already Abraham is on my mind and the covenant in Genesis 15! How in need we are of grace!

Words of Wisdom

"but still try, for who knows what is possible..."- Michael Farraday

Yep...with man lots of things are impossible, but with God nothing is impossible!

Drinking it in

On the days I go to the prison, I meet my friend at this health food store/cafe to have lunch. This time I chose a Sweet Leaf lemonade to drink. Apparently that brand of drink has wise sayings on the inside of the lids. It is kind of like getting a fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant. My wise saying for the day was: the less you own, the less that owns you

Love it...goes with my downsizing philosophy. While we were in North Carolina, Hurricane Gustav was coming up into Louisiana. We kept an eye on it, but weren't all that concerned. We are still under construction from the last round of flooding-and everyone was calling to see about us-but we know that God is the God of all weather, He also owns everything. Everything we have is because of Him, so if He takes it away, then we would of had less stuff to own us! The experience itself reminds us (pretty much daily) that everything is temporal. Nothing lasts forever. We got lots of rain up here, but no flooding.

Still constructing...today going to really work on my bedroom, sanding, doing some patch mudding. Also going to get my stenciling done in the living room. Might even do a little work on some of the other rooms. Our doors are in so we are picking those up today. Hmmm....God's timing...we have slowed down...doesn't seem to be near as big a hurry...and it is just ok-mostly because it is just a house, and just stuff...and don't want it to own us, all our energy, or all our time.

A Stop By The Past

On our way back from Robert's house in Havelock, NC, we decided to stop by our first base together, Seymour Johnson, in G0ldsboro, Nc. It has been about 24 years since we have been there, and much has changed! We looked for our house-Steve remembered what street we lived on (I didn't). That part of housing no longer exists; a field is where our house once stood. We drove around a bit, and stopped in at the BX where we got t-shirts and Steve a coin. We loaded back up in the truck when a knock on the window startled us. Amazingly enough, Steve's first supervisor was standing there. Wow...we were there less than an hour, and he runs into his first supervisor-someone he first met over 25 years ago.

Shady J was the place where I grew up. I was only 17 when I got there, my first time away from home, not a little girl anymore, but a woman. I learned what "being married" meant, how to take care of my own home. I started college there. It was a time of turmoil and searching. Neither of us were saved and in church. God's grace-we made it through that time, and God took us in a new direction.

Visiting the past gave me a renewed appreciation for the present and the possibilities for the future. I am glad we aren't living that life anymore, but could stop to glimpse back for a minute before moving forward again. Our life has been nothing but change for so long that it is hard at times to find the constant! Of course that constant is Jesus and His abiding love and grace!

Every day presents new challenges and changes...Moving forward...after all we have already been to the past, and we got the tshirt!

Old Friends

Things, situations, and even people sometimes come into our life for just a season. I could not begin to count the number of people I have called friends that no longer share my life! For the longest time I thought being a Christian friend meant sharing the rest of my life here on earth with that friend, but it hasn't worked out that way. Many times someone is right there at the right time for that need at that moment, sometimes my need, sometimes their need. I still build relationships on the premise that they will last forever, and I remain in touch as much as possible, but people come and go, circumstances change, and things...my goodness...what little value they have unless we can share those with someone else!

Once in awhile God restores old frienships. People reappear that we haven't seen in a bit. This past week or so has been one of those amazing weeks. We are so thrilled that Tonia (and Caitlyn) are back in our life, and we are equally thrilled to be sharing in Tami, Bobby, Ms. Carol, and Celeste's lives again. I think we met Tami and Celeste when Katherine was five. Kat and Celeste spent much of their early childhood together. They are young women now attending college, but picked up right where they left off! God is so good!

We are in North Carlina right now. We drove 20 hours towing our Ranger (now Rob's) to Robert. It is pretty sweet that we were able to bring it to him. I finally got to give a vehicle away, all made possible by God's amazing grace expressed through the generosity of my mother and father-in-law! If I had thought and thought and thought, I would never have imagined how the flood would have impacted our life, how we would have changed, or who God would have brought back into our life!

What is Important?

Life is too short! This week an elderly lady, Ms. Orelle Maynor, went home to be with the Lord. She was 91. (Not pictured). I remember her as this perfect lady, always dressed in a skirt/suit, with "stockings" (as she called them), heels, hair and nails done, and make-up on. She was always dressed when she went out, still driving and taking care of herself at age 91. She lived a very active life, one I was only privileged to share in but for a moment.

Just a few months ago I was sitting in her kitchen visiting with her. She was telling me how she exercised every day (yes, at age 91). She was also telling me about her family, how she grew up, and how she likes to spend her days. She was an amazing woman, absolutely beautiful. Well...we had those few moments, and I went on with my life, got busy, and although the Holy Spirit laid her on my heart many times, I didn't make it back over there to see her. That makes me very sad-I missed an opportunity to talk with her again, and now I have to wait till I join her in eternity.

So many moments just like that have been lost. So many times the Holy Spirit reminds me of someone, and I think..I need to give them a call, but I don't. Ms. Willis, another elderly lady I knew was gone three weeks before I knew it. My heart was broken. I missed seeing her, and I missed her funeral. Then there is Ms. Davis (pictured).

She is nearly 94. She has been a big part of my life and my children's lives. I hadn't seen her since December, and I knew she had dementia. I listened this time and called. I went by to see her yesterday and am so glad I did. She didn't remember me. She has pictures of my kids in her room, but she couldn't remember their names. (She told me she had been trying to figure out who they were!) I had printed out some recent pictures of our trip to Daniel and Lauren's wedding, and of Katherine's graduation when everyone was here, and made her a photo album. When I showed her the pictures and reminded her about her family, her face lit up, and she remembered. I reminded her of the things we had done, and of course all the moments she had shared with the kids. She still wasn't convinced I was their mother...I really think she thought I was Katherine all grown up! I told her I would take lots of pictures while I was at Robert's and add to her photo album! We laughed and she cried a little. I told her no tears, but she told me she was crying because she was so happy to see me. How many moments like this have I sacrificed on the altar of "works"? Lord, ever remind me what is important and what is not!

Ms. Orelle Maynor (Sept. 11, 1916-Aug. 22, 2008)

Common Place

Ya ever notice how things which at one time shocked you somehow become commonplace...and no longer surprise you or shock you? It is like that here...at least as far as rats are concerned. Apparently the idealistic view that the one rat that got in was the ONLY rat was a little premature! And...my brother's idea that those electronic rat chaser awayer things keep rats out don't really work either! We tried that, don't waste your money!

Back to the rat story...again...another one made it in. Kat went to Six Flags yesterday morning very early, before we got up. I was cleaning up yesterday and noticed this mud all over the hutch and dog food container. I thought Steve had been really messy the day before getting the food out, so I cleaned it up. On the way home from Six Flags, Kat said there had been a rat in the house the night before. I asked her why she was just now telling me...she said it was too early to wake us up! Hmm...last week, we were up ALL night after her screaming.

Last night we tried the let Maggie roam the house technique. She was checking everything out. She slept with Katherine. When she would hear something, she would get up and go check out and then go lay down again. This morning, there was mud again...but how on earth does a rat get mud all over the dog food container and hutch but nowhere else! How did it get to the trashcan without leaving tracks anywhere? We have no idea whatsoever. We did have the electronic thing plugged in, so we can rule its effectiveness out. We can also determine that Maggie heard it and scared it away, so it was unsuccessful at the attempt at the dogfood, but we were also unsuccessful at trapping it.

Tonight...new strategy, no electronic thingy, and Maggie is in the cage, traps are going to be set. Let's try this again...and see if Kat screams!

By the way...I was very cautious walking to the bathroom in the dark since I had no idea what might be lurking near by!

Check the chaos at the door, Please

I sooooooooo needed a break from this chaos yesterday. These past two days, my stress level has been off the charts, and I found myself crying continuously. As much as I needed to do, I took the day off. I left my house at 9:30 and did not return till 4:30 or so. I took myself to breakfast, sat there reading my Bible when an older gentleman stopped to talk to me about what I was studying. He must have been a preacher! After that I went to the library to read about home decorating (of course!). I checked out a book about putting the heart into your home, designing a home around individual personality to provide a tranquil retreat from the world. Yep..that is just what we need, a retreat! Then I headed to the paint store to pick out paint. I decided on a green for my living room/dining room. (turns out it is almost the exact color in there right now...I am such a creature of habit) The paint guy was very patient, and he gave me a fan deck with thousands of colors to help me decide on the rest of the house. Next, I met Steve at the flooring place to talk to another dealer about flooring. We found another variation on the vinyl which we liked, but it is going to be over $4000 to install in the rooms we want it, so???? From there, I headed to Michaels, Linens and Things, and Lifeway. I browsed the stores looking for ideas for our bedroom and party supplies for my grandson. His first birthday is right around the corner! I had a wonderful conversation with my daughter-in-law, and got a sweet message of encouragement from my friend, Michelle. In Michaels I found this sea glass which is going to be my color inspiration for my bedroom. I have always wanted an ocean themed area because the ocean is my serenity place. I love the ocean! I also picked up my very first decoration, a metal fish tea light holder. It has an antique feel which I also love! Lifeway was my last stop. There I chose a few books and sat down to read them. I bought a devotional book, "Lord, I Need Grace to Make it Today" by Kay Arthur. (No surprise that one caught my eye!) I started it this morning and am excited about what God is going to show me through it! There was dinner, church, Starbucks, and a bit of evening drama. My day ended around 11:30. Welp...that was my day, and today is a new day. It too is a gift so, Lord, please don't let me waste it chasing after what is temporal when I could be spending it with eyes focused on the eternal!

Gift

Life Is a Gift

Today
before you say an unkind word -

Think of someone who can't speak.

Before
you complain about the taste of your food -

Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before
you complain about your husband or wife -

Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today
before you complain about life -

Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before
whining about the distance you drive

Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when
you are tired and complain about your job -

Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job.

And when
depressing thoughts seem to get you down -

Put a smile on your face and think: you're alive and still
around.

Too much selfishness in our world...Too much "ME ME ME." Today, I am frazzled, overwhelmed by the task before me, completely exhausted and unable to focus...too much work and not enough play while those around me who could be helping carry this burden all want to go play. I get up working, keep working, go to bed working. All day every day. There is no time, no money, no energy left for anything else. I am going to take a breath, pray, read my Bible looking for encouragement from my God who is always faithful to sustain me, try to refocus, and start over.

God Moments

Every once in awhile God reminds me He is still there, He really does care, and He really does answer prayer. Today, I had one of those God moments. For about twenty years now I have been praying specifically for my extended family. God doesn't work on my time schedule, but His own. Though there have been many setbacks, some tares sent our way to hinder the work in our family, and it often feels like we take two steps forward and three back, God has been answering those prayers. Today, through a simple conversation with one of my brothers, and the obvious work God is doing in His life, God reminded me that He has been listening. Yippeee!

He also reminded me that He is the master carpenter. We might be rebuilding a house, but He is rebuilding lives! Praise God for the moments when I get to be a tool in His hand!

Oh yea...A friend had this shirt on last night at church-love it!

I am too blessed

to be stressed

I am too annointed

to be disappointed

Quote from "Conquering Through Conflict"

"One's godly behavior is a warranty deed for himself that Jesus Christ has cleansed him from his past sins and therefore that he was in fact called and elected by God." --Kenneth Gangel

"And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:5-8

Wowed

You really can't outgive God. Steve's spiritual gift is giving. For years, it was kind of suppressed because I was a bit stingy, and he got taken advantage a few times. The last five or so years, I have been learning to let go, and God has so blessed. The giver that Steve has always been has resurfaced. He doesn't hesitate to participate in a special offering, or run to someone's aid, or give his last dollar for someone who needs it worse than we do. That giving spirit brings blessings on our family. There is no other explanation as to how we are able to do what we need to do, not just for ourselves and our family, but for others God brings into our path. This flood trial has been a perfect example of that. Even with all that has to be done here, the expense of it all, the time required which is phenomenal with both of us working....all of it.....has not hindered Steve from giving when he feels led to do so. Even if God didn't honor that, which He does, I would be so blessed by the example Steve is to me.

We are off to a good start this week. We took out our walls and trim in our breakfast room. That was surprisingly nasty. All I could do was say, "wow." We cleaned that up and it is drying out now. We discovered a shorted wire in there. "Wow," that could have caught fire at any time-God spared us! We got our BoraCare/MoldCare in. We sprayed the shed and our room last night. They are both ready to be sealed with a water sealant. The inspector came today and it passed. We are about ready to rebuild that room! Yea! We also got our insurance settlement in yesterday. Steve was thinking it would be about $45,000 because we got an advance payment of $5,000. We opened it...it is $59,000. "Wow" Not only can we fix our house, but because we are doing the labor ourselves...we can do so much more-we can share what God has given us. I can hardly wait to see what God is going to do next! I am sure I will be just as wowed!

Hindsight is 20/20

We started our weekend off with a new routine....sleep in a bit, go to breakfast, go to Lowes! Going to breakfast gives us some alone time in which to talk. This morning we were talking about our day, what we were going to try to get done, and just stuff...Steve was sharing a financial plan he had with me. Nothing he said had even went through my mind, and it was brilliant! I thought, wow, it has taken me these twenty-five years to learn to trust him to lead our family, and he is so good at it. Makes me wonder where we would be today had I trusted him way back at the beginning of our relationship! I was telling him what a slow learner I am, and how it has taken me so long to learn stuff. We were reminiscing about how our parents tried to tell us things, to keep us from making the same mistakes, and how we have tried to keep our kids from making those same mistakes. We didn't listen, and they don't either. So we live and learn and hindsight really is 20/20

Praising God in the storms!

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now

God You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls I barely hear

Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives

And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

And every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to you

And you raised me up again

My strength is almost gone

How can I carry on

If I can't find You

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Through every phase of life, God gives me a verse or a song to encourage me and remind me of just who He is! I can look back over these different times with absolute amazement! The night of the flood, we got the radio out and plugged it in so we could listen to the weather. In the middle of our wading through the waters, this song came on the radio. It was perfect timing! I was driving home today from work, and this CD kicked in on the cd changer (awesome cd by the way). God once again reminded me to praise Him in the midst of my storm and to trust Him. He is my help and my strength! He holds every tear I cry, knows every pain of my heart, is ever faithful, is ever present. What an awesome God I serve!

Anger

"Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil." Eph. 4: 26-27

I have been telling Katherine now for a year or so that she needs to learn to be honest in her relationships and set boundaries. She has such a heart to please that she lets people walk over her. She doesn't want to hurt feelings and she doesn't say no often enough! She is growing in that area, but I, on the other hand have been going backwards. I talk a good talk, but the walk...that is another story! People take advantage of me, use me, I get angry about it, but don't say anything until I absolutely can't take it anymore! I think I have spent most of my life angry, and not able to deal with it. I just sweep it under the rug, go on to something else, get busy with life, and think it is dealt with, then it resurfaces again. I read these passages in Ephesians, all about communication, and wonder just how to apply them. "....speak every man truth...let no corrupt communciation proceed out of your mouth...let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put awary from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." How do I speak the truth in such a way to not offend? How do I deal with conflicts in an honest way, but without malice and anger?

I have been thinking about this essay I wrote for a class called "Not in The Words." It is about my childhood relationship with my dad, not just my dad, but my parents in general. I learned that I could easily achieve academically, and if I did, the rest of my life (to them) was pretty inconsequential. They didn't know what I was doing most of the time or what was going on in my life. I hid behind the honor roll. Wow...what an impact childhood attitudes play into our adult lives...I still work hard to achieve...outward success becomes nothing more than a mask to hide my insecurities behind. I never feel good enough and it frustrates me more, it confuses me, it doesn't help resolve any of my anger. Knowing what the problem is is supposed to be half the battle, but it doesn't really feel like I am half way there! One step...my next Bible study is going to be on the book of Ephesians.

Where did I put that ladder?

"Picture in your mind a tall ladder leaning against a wall. Now think about your life as a process of climbing that ladder. Wouldn't it be a tragedy to get to the top of the ladder and find you placed it against the wrong wall? One life to life and you missed it!" -Henry Blackaby Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God. Lifeway Press 1990: pg. 46

Yep, that is it...we so often miss the point because we are reaching toward the wrong goal! I have wasted too much of my life already "doing" when I should have been sitting at the feet of Jesus and allowing Him to "do"!

"...but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:13b-14

Quote of Interest

"Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write." John Adams 1765

What else is there to say following that??? Not enough individualism in our world, although there is a pretense towards it...too much, "Be an individual-dress, talk, eat, be entertained, etc...just like me." I read an essay by Spurgeon recently on eccentricity. His observation was that someone is labeled eccentric when they deviate from the circle with its center at what society deems "normal" at that moment in time. Normal changes, society doesn't stand still, life keeps moving. Lord, let me dare to read your Word, think like You, speak the Truth, and write as You would direct. Then I know I will be an individual, because You love me uniquely and deal with me as uniquely yours. Then I will also be eccentric, because following you puts me outside the center of the "normal circle." Walk in Faith, not by sight!

Live and Learn

The days I am having...no, the weeks...wait...weeks turn into months and months into years...If only...our new Pastor challenged us this past week. For the first time in all my years as a Christian, an idea stuck. I used to listen to preachers preaching about "faith," and think...yea, but how...how do you get that? Where does it come from? The answer was there all along, and I had heard it, knew it, but somehow it didn't stick. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God (Romans 10:17). So...the more Word of God-the more faith, which is of course true in my life and the life of everyone else. Lack of faith, lack of the fruit of the Spirit (which faith ifis part of-Galatians 5:22-23) is evidence of lack of Word of God. I am guilty, I am lacking. I need faith, and I need God. Praise God for my pastor and the work God is doing in our church family through his ministry. I have been so blessed by time with my brother and sister-in-law, time with Chris and Taylor. Opportunities to sit and talk about who God is...opportunity to step out and let God be God. I am so glad He is and I am not. Less of me God and more of you!

Bloom where you are planted

There is joy in seeing another person's life bloom and grow because you have been committed to their best. (Gary Smalley, January 10, 2008 devotion "Honor" http://www.smalleyonline.com/articles/devos/jan10.html)

I love bulb plants...they grow and reproduce over and over...what is only one turns into a multitude. My favorite is canna lillies. There are yellow ones in my yard. Each year they die out during the winter, and then in the Spring, they explode! I love teaching...I get the honor of investing in someone and watch the flower-well, sometimes I see-the blossoms! Just one that opens and spreads it petals towards the Son to absorb the light of His presence, makes all those dark, cloudy, fruitless days worth it!